Lost in interpretation

Am American first time travelled to the Netherlands. He went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered a beer.

Waitress gave a bottle of beer.

“Can you open the bottle for me?” He to her when she turned around to leave.

“Can’t you open your own beer?” She shouted it back.

He thinks Dutch are too direct and somewhat not polite.

She thinks people should be independent and do things they can on their own.

A Chinese learns the story, she thinks Dutch is somewhat rude and has bad service in the restaurant.

No one is wrong in their opinions. Without understanding the context, the culture, things got lost in the interpretation.

You heard that culture eats strategy for breakfast.

Know the culture is the key to understand a situation.

Your best friend

Who was your best friend?

Who is your best friend?

You.

Period. For both questions.

We very often are very critical to ourselves. We are our own the worst enemy.

We talk to ourselves by telling us that we are not good enough, we do wrong things, we are not good looking…

Those small self talks make us small, drag us down, negate our energy.

It is critical for you to catch those negative self talk moments. And turn the thinking around by asking am I judging myself unfairly? Am I comparing my down moments with someone’s strength?

Do I live for my values or live according to other’s view?

Do I make myself a better me than yesterday? Yes, you are right! This is the only question you should ask yourself daily.

Treat yourself as your best friend: talk to her daily by reflection, affirmation and visualization.

The most important connection

When we are on holidays, we all hope the weather is good for outdoor activities.

However, sometimes weather has her own plan.

We are in Jeju island for a vacation. It rains. We decide to go out anyway.

There are not many people at tourist site due to the rain obviously. Then I see this family of three generations: grandma, her daughter and son-in-law, and her two grandchildren.

The grandma holds an umbrella to cover her and her daughter who holding a young kid. The husband walks with other kid wearing rain coats hand in hand leading the way.

They are chatting, laughing cheerfully in the rain. Contrast to others seem in a hurry, they are no hurry at all.

If you have the connection with the most important people in your life, they are the whole world to you. Nothing else matters that much. Rain does not matter too much to the happily connected family.

How many the most connected moments do you have daily? Find them. Treasure them. Live in those moments.

Do the job

My parents got a nanny through an agency one month ago. Her job is to cook meals, do cleaning and some daily chores.

My mom has been teaching her where things about, how things work in the house, and even how to cook meals.

One month has passed. The nanny went away for a few days for holidays.

My mom told me today earlier she needs a new nanny.

Because this nanny does not pay attention to what my mom tells her. She could not remember how to cook the same meal after my mom taught her and did with her three times.

It does not matter what job you do, a nanny, a nurse, or a CEO, you need do your job.

Do the job. Do it well.

Otherwise, you do not serve the value the job calls for. And you are not deserved the job title.

We deliver and give, in order to receive. This is how the reciprocity works.

Ask and get

A baby is crying. She is crying for milk, she is hungry.

The young couple quickly prepare the milk for her and feed her. She stops crying and drinks her milk. She smiles at her mom and waves her hands happily.

A baby know what she wants and asks for it. Therefore, she gets what she asks for. And she becomes happy for getting she wants.

We adults frustrate because we are not clear for what we want.

Once we know what we want, we will ask for that, then we have a good chance we will get it, which makes us fulfilled and happy.

Find what you want at the first place.

To be heard

My husband and I are going for a market plaza in Jeju island.

When we are getting closer, we can hear loud music and recorded shouting selling voices. Many small stalls owners are competing for consumers attention to get business.

After passing through a few noisy stalls stretches, we see along a few other stretches the stalls are much quieter and pleasant. These small vendors have displayed their goods nicely and attractively.

You see, to be heard does not mean to the loudest one.

To be heard is to find the right audience and serve them whole heartily.

To be heard is to show your strength and display it in a right way – the way your customers like and accept.

The key to be heard is to know your audience and your customers.

Why do we read?

I like reading.

I read every day.

If I do not read for one day, my mind knows it. If I do not read for two days, my body knows it. If I do not read for three days, my husband knows it. If I do not read for four days, people working with me know it.

Read for me is a type of meditation. Reading is the time for me to recharge. Reading is the time I communicate with my mind.

Without reading, in the garden of mind weeds may start to grow. Reading keeps the weeds in my mind at the bay, and keeps my mind peaceful and cheerful.

Why do you read? What does reading make you feel?

We read to enrich our mind, body and soul.

A good book not only teaches us new knowledge, it also elicits our internal drives, potentials, and wants. A good book is a good friend, a coach, a resources that we can know more who we are.

Let it go

I have had two busy weeks, while still taking an online course.

The course is for four weeks. Obviously I could not complete all assignments from the course due to my work engagements.

I am getting anxious…

Then I noticed the moment I felt the pressure from the course, I had back aching. My body has started to send warning and tell me slowing down.

Yes, I know the signal from my back aching already. My body is smart. I need to do something about this warning sign.

What would be the worst if I could not finish my assignments from this course? How much I have learned from the course by far? If I rush to do the assignment for the sake of completion, would it be good for my learning?

What would be my ultimate goal of learning? Can I keep my learning after the course’s ending?

Which is more important? Is My happiness or to please the course? Who is the course after all? …

I choose to please my body.

This has made the difference. I am a better person to the people around me. I am a better person today than who I was yesterday. I am living my life.

Test of being on hold…

Doctors told us that my dad’s surgery were Wednesday afternoon.

My dad was prepared for the surgery by nurses. He also prepared himself ready for Wednesday afternoon. So all of us, the family members, were also here for his operation.

We thought 2pm was the reasonable time for my dad to be called for the surgery. Because we learned it would last for two to three hours, 2pm seemed a proper assumption.

2pm arrived, and past.

4pm came, and past…

My dad became anxious. We became a little bit worried about him. We were told the operation would be still on.

6pm came, and past.

8pm came, and past…

My dad was called in just after 9pm…

It was a test for everyone when my dad’s operation was on hold for nine hours. It tested our patience, it tested our will, it tested our agility and sympathy.

There are many cases in life putting us on hold. Each case is a test and an opportunity for us to know ourselves, to learn more from the experience, to break free from the boundaries we often set up for ourselves.

Why I feel like an imposter?

I feel that I am plagued by feeling like an imposter very often.

I feel that I am out of place, I am not good enough, I did not do enough…

I feel so bad about myself that when people tell me that how wonderful, how incredible, how good I am, I do not believe any of these. I thought they are trying to make happier.

Then, I hear again, again, and agin compliments from others.

“May be I am good for what they tell me?” One day I talk to myself. “May be I am truly not that inadequate after all?”

Then more, I caught my self talks – “the out of place”, “not good enough”, and “did not do enough” are all what I feel from others. Where is ME in this self criticizing dialogues?

Obviously I was living for others, not for myself during those moments.

When I started to live for myself, I felt the serenity and the imposter was hiding some where.

Start to live for my true self is the way for me to put my imposter in check.

That is it.