Tag: self-mastery

Your best friend

Who was your best friend?

Who is your best friend?

You.

Period. For both questions.

We very often are very critical to ourselves. We are our own the worst enemy.

We talk to ourselves by telling us that we are not good enough, we do wrong things, we are not good looking…

Those small self talks make us small, drag us down, negate our energy.

It is critical for you to catch those negative self talk moments. And turn the thinking around by asking am I judging myself unfairly? Am I comparing my down moments with someone’s strength?

Do I live for my values or live according to other’s view?

Do I make myself a better me than yesterday? Yes, you are right! This is the only question you should ask yourself daily.

Treat yourself as your best friend: talk to her daily by reflection, affirmation and visualization.

Realize your vulnerability

You have all the passion and energy and dedication to make this project work. You work 12-16 hours a day for nine months…

One day, you suddenly broke down by just one loudly No from your colleague, your teammate. He said No to you when you demanded his action, and he commented that you are not capable of doing what you do in front of your team – 20 colleagues.

“How could he do this to me? He is supposed to be my loyal workmate.” You felt lost face, like an imposter, and felt humiliated by wrongful comments…

You wanted to know why.

After many conversations, dialogues, and a few sleepless weeks, you learned that it’s the fear of change brought your colleague’s rebel. It got little to do with you.

However, by being wrongly accused it somewhat made you feel that you no longer need to pretend to know everything any more. The ego you had is disappearing. You feel much more breathable, more freedom coming to your way.

You break free.

You don’t need to pretend to be something you are not.

You don’t need to live other’s life, begin to live truly.

You don’t need to worry making mistakes.

You have stretched and grown more.

Vulnerability makes you stronger, braver, more present.

Lead yourself first

If you want to be a leader to others, you will need to lead yourself first.

Lead yourself to start walking to your dream or goals by one step at a time. Even though when you don’t feel like walk, don’t feel get up from the bed, don’t feel sweat any more… you need to do it anyway.

Lead yourself to catch yourself talks. Exam what are the talks, what stories are you telling yourself? Are you able to persuade yourself to stay on track?

Build up your leadership through solicitude towards to yourself.

When you are clear about your vision, your goals, your strength, and you are effective, you become the leader of yourself.

When you can effectively lead yourself, you can lead others.

Be a good person first

To be a successful person, to run a successful business, the first thing is to be a good person.

A good person is someone ethical – with integrity, kindness, and accountability first.

A person with ethics is someone trustworthy.

She admits her mistakes and knows her strength.

She commits to her promises with heart and sweats.

She simplifies things and is generous to give others her time, energy.

She is kind to make things clear to others, including her critics and compliments. This is kind in action.

Be a good person, you will attract other good people. Your good deeds will spill over to your life and career. A good life and good career are the consequences of being a good person.

A leader

You are a leader. I am a leader. We are all leaders one way or another.

A leader is someone brave, ploughing ahead with sweats and blood facing challenges.

A leader is someone tough, stoic and resilient, gets up and keeps going after falling down and failures.

A leader is someone vulnerable, not hiding her struggles and hurts.

A leader is someone sympathetic, opening her hands and hearts to accept others.

A leader is someone listening and watching others quietly, being there for them when need.

A leader is not someone who creates followers. A leader is someone who creates more leaders.

Leading is an act of generosity.

Leading is an act of kind.

Leading is an act for personal mastery.

Persuasive words and phrases

We live in an interactive world, and connect with people.

We need to influence others, persuade people every day, vice versa.

Certain words and phrases are powerful when you want to persuade people. And some words and phrases are effective when you refuse other’s persuasion or request.

Such as, the following Words and Phrases can be persuasive:

  • Because
  • Would you mind . . . 
  • I have a rule . . .
  • I just wanted to clarify . . .
  • Is there anything you can do for me?
  • Thank you.
  • This is just between you and me.

The following words and phrases can be powerful to say No:

  • I don’t do that.
  • I have a rule…
  • Thank you.
  • I am not interested.

Make a difference

Many of us want to make our own marks, put our labels, express our values to make a difference.

Actually, the thought to make a difference in the world already inspires many of us.

What does it exactly mean to you when you want to make a difference? What kinds of difference do you want to make?

You can not make a difference unless you recognize how different you are.

Take a moment to identify how different you are. What energizes you. What makes you feel free. What makes you felt growing and fulfilled and happy. What footprint you’d like to leave to the world.

Then you may be on your way to make a difference.

Ups and downs

A friend consultant shares his philosophy with me, “When you are riding on a big waves, go crazy with your full speed. When you are down in a valley, fully absorb yourself to learn, exercise new muscles and prepare coming out of it.”

He was fired twice from his jobs. The first time he was fired, he went to get his Master degree in MBA. The second time he was fired, he went to get his Ph.D in business management and founded his consulting company.

Now he is an influential strategist, having over 100 employees working in his consulting companies.

He knows how to handle ups and downs in his life.

When you are moving on the right direction, everything comes to your way. You are in the Yang wind. Whatever you do you feel you can make a difference.

When you are in the Yin zone, whatever you do you feel you are a failure. You may not have that kinds of upset like being fired. However, you always have big or small bumps on your way.

You can control your pace to prevent or reduce that big failure. You can go away for a retreat so that you can come back strong.

Life is a marathon. You need to recharge, regain your energy, refresh and continue your journey.

The best way to pace yourself is to take a sabbatical… we are luck that we can practically take our sabbatical by planning it daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly.

We can walk away from our work completely. We can have daily meditation, exercises, yoga, reading and reflection time for ourself. We can have weekly or monthly intermittent fasting, social activities. We have annual event, retreat…

Ups and downs are normal stuff in our life. And you are the master to face and control the ups and downs. Because we are luck that we have the authority and power to command our mind and physical muscles.

Time management = Your “why” management

For a long time, people have been saying about time management.

There are many tools available for you to choose from.

However, with tools you are still struggling with your crammed schedules and constant disruptions from all directions. Keeping your focus and staying centered in a world that seems increasingly out of balance is hard.

I tried to manage my time. There was somewhat improvement, and I expect to be better.

Then I realized that to manage the WHY is a more efficient and effective way to manage your time.

You can prioritize your day with your intention by asking yourself three whys: why you need do what you’ve planned to do; why they are important to you; why they are urgent today.

By arranging your day according to whys, you have a clear direction and sense of mission. They empower you. They can allow you to have a bigger impact to the world. At the end of the day, you feel fulfilled and happy.

Think about your whys when you prioritize your day.