Experiments for living truly

Baby cries when she needs something.

Kids ignore their parents’s shouting for dinners when they are absorbed in playing.

Teens hangout with other teens, but not their parents.

They live truly.

For us, the adults. We can experimenting live truly…

Live truly is to live through the highs and lows in life. They are the same…. they are not the measurement of our success.

Live truly tries to Don’t accept NO for an answer.

live truly, you also can treat great success and terrific failure the same way. You are who you are. We pursue our goals through success or failure. They do not change who you are.

Live truly… experimenting… explore

Raw and vulnerable

When a colleague challenged me after I made a statement, I felt uncertain, a little bit panic… also I felt left shoulder and back heavy and aching. I could not focus on doing anything else for hours.

One day, another colleague reporting to me sent an email to me and many others. I felt my heart beat faster, somewhat panic… then shoulder and back aching. It took me a while to figure out why he sent such an email without talking or informing me first.

Then something similar happened and I noticed my immediate heaviness on my shoulder and back.

What is going on with me?

Why I was so uncertain and uneasy?

Am I intimidated by the challenge to my authority and expertise?

That is right.

I could not face my lacking knowledge, because my personal identity is smart and knowledgeable.

I could not embrace others to challenge my opinion, what if I was wrong? I considered myself is an expert somewhat in the area. I did not want to loose face.

I have severe imposter syndrome!

Therefore, I suffer from the syndrome. My shoulder and back pain have lasted for nine months.

One day, I decided to make a change.

I take three small steps a day: one is to listen to different opinions without rejections, especially those ones do not agree with mine; second I admit my ignorance once a day if new thing shows up; the last one is to keep my focus on the most important items of the day and let others go.

I was sweating, red faced when I started the baby steps first day. No one seemed noticed. I was relived.

I repeated this, again, again…

One day, I realize that I can do this naturally.

My raw vulnerability keeps me going through tough times. I become more courageous. I gain more connections, more trust.

Do I still have imposter syndrome? Of course. The good thing is that I can recognize it now. I am battling with it, it may be a long way before I can say my final goodbyes. However, it’s a road worth of taking.

To become raw and vulnerable is hard, a torture. It also let me reborn and courageous.

When you open your hands…

When I opened my hand to a stranger first time, I felt uncertain – will she open her hand to me as well? What if she refuses my handshake? What would other people think of me?

I felt vulnerable.

However, people also open their hands to me when I open mine.

It’s a brave action to open your hand first.

You are brave to bring yourself up to the front first.

Exposing your vulnerability is a brave action.

We grow from our vulnerability, becoming stronger and more connected.

Crack

We fill cracks on the floor, on the road, in a wall.

We fill cracks and holes in our hearts with all sorts of desires and stories. We are panic when we leave the crack open without putting anything in immediately. We can’t handle the exposure of our vulnerability easily.

It takes courage to see our vulnerability, to experience the pain.

However,

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” By Leonard Cohen

When you open your vulnerability, you will receive new energy. A new birth will take place.

When you lead a change…

As a leader, you want to make a difference, you want to make a change.

A change you want to make starts within yourself. Only when you up to the change, you can make changes around you.

The author for the best book seller – The leadership gap, Lolly Daskal said, “Great leaders change the world around them. But I promise you, they start by changing what is within.

You want to make a change, become the change you want make first.

You will need to know yourself, who you are, your strength, your inspirations, your gaps to get where you want to be…

It is not easy to be on top of everything you do. As a matter of fact, it is impossible to be on top of everything you.

To be on top of a wave or with a wave, you will need to be open minded.

We are all changing every moment biologically – old cells in our body dying, and new cells at the same time growing. Our muscle cells grow in different speed from our skin cells, our hair cells, etc. In a similar way, for each change in our life it needs different time to take place. We get to be open to learn, to observe, to adapt and grow with each change.

When we stop learning, we stop leading.

When we can lead ourself, we can lead others.

Lead yourself first

If you want to be a leader to others, you will need to lead yourself first.

Lead yourself to start walking to your dream or goals by one step at a time. Even though when you don’t feel like walk, don’t feel get up from the bed, don’t feel sweat any more… you need to do it anyway.

Lead yourself to catch yourself talks. Exam what are the talks, what stories are you telling yourself? Are you able to persuade yourself to stay on track?

Build up your leadership through solicitude towards to yourself.

When you are clear about your vision, your goals, your strength, and you are effective, you become the leader of yourself.

When you can effectively lead yourself, you can lead others.

Be a good person first

To be a successful person, to run a successful business, the first thing is to be a good person.

A good person is someone ethical – with integrity, kindness, and accountability first.

A person with ethics is someone trustworthy.

She admits her mistakes and knows her strength.

She commits to her promises with heart and sweats.

She simplifies things and is generous to give others her time, energy.

She is kind to make things clear to others, including her critics and compliments. This is kind in action.

Be a good person, you will attract other good people. Your good deeds will spill over to your life and career. A good life and good career are the consequences of being a good person.