Self development

Self development is a life long process.

When talking to a 30 year old, she says she and her friends in the same age feel really grown up. They feel they are more confident than the time when they were 20 year old. And they can make money and live independently. They think they are in a very good place.

When talking to a 40 year old, she says she feels she becomes more clear about who she is now, and she is confident and has no fear to do anything. She feels she can conquer the world.

When talking to a 50 year old, she says that now she knows what is more important for her in life. She has courage to say Nos to things do not bringing much value. She has a free soul, does things efficiently and yet considerate. She is energetic, full of life.

One of my best friends in her 60s, she had her biggest promotion at the age of 60 years old. Now she grows her coaching business and running the company in full speed at her age of 66. She is one of the most generous people in my life. She says she does not feel retire any time soon…

people always grow, no matter how old you are.

Self development is a marathon.

When you grow your self, remember:

Stope focusing on gaining the approval of others and starting to improve and develop yourself.

Character is fate

Character is who you are. Your character is your fate.

Many people get lucky, and have success or are rich, because of great parents, certain environment, or by chances.

However, for those are not so rich, not born with glory or favorite surroundings, character decides her fate,

Your success from character is from long term. You will not see immediate result in a short period.

Therefore, you will need stoic, be determined, be persistent. Grit is called on when you face challenges, setbacks. Even when you do not see any light at the end of the tunnel, you need just focus the one small step in front of you – one step at a time.

If it is gold, it will shine after all.

Character is your fate.

Believe in yourself

How much do you believe in yourself now? 60%, 70%, 80 or 90%?

If your boss, or or your colleagues give you negative comments, how much do you believe in yourself?

What about if you just made a huge mistake, or failed to reach your goal?

The tough time calls for your character. It calls for your courage. It calls for your clarity.

You are a whole person – a person who is naturally, creative, resources, and whole.

Therefore, believe in yourself.

A 90:10 rule says: you should dominantly (90 percent) have your own self-acceptance and self-appreciation and only 10 percent from external approval or assigned worth.

Like Lao Tzu said:

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

Believe in yourself majorly.

You will be more creative and you will be happier.

Say too much…

Do you sometimes feel that you’ve said too much?

Then you later on realized you could tune it down a little bit… if you did, you might feel safer for your position at work; you might make a relationship getting better; you might not become the target of controversy… in a word, you might have less hassle and live a quieter life.

Or,

You feel that you have obligation or urge to speak that much… so you can express your opinion; you can live for a free speech life; you may feel you are more yourself – true self. However, you might be living in a spotlight as well.

The choice is yours.

So is the consequence.

When you make the choice, you have to bear the consequence. You are responsible for your action.

What is the freedom feel like?

Many people pursue freedom in their life, actually freedom may be the top life goal for many many people.

We crave for freedom to do things we’d like to do, to live the life we choose to live, to be the person we want to be…

So, if you have the freedom, what is the freedom feel like now?

Someone answered me like this: “When I have the feeling of freedom, I always feel I am growing bigger, enormous, and stretched from extremities to all directions – like a spider net without boarder and I am part of the net.

The connection, be able to express myself, being useful… these give me the feeling of freedom.”

Again, take a moment and feel the freedom in you. What does it feel like?

A leader with curiosity

One of the attributes a leader should have is curiosity.

What does it mean for a leader to have curiosity?

It means that a leader should have consultative skills when she leads. She learns about her teams by asking good questions to clarify situations, provoke thoughts, engage with employees, and show empathy…

In addition, a leader with curiosity is a leadership with growth mind. A growth mindset is the essential attribute to be a good leader, an effective leader and successful leader.

Success is a kind of feeling…

We all want to have success.

Success is mistakenly labeled as the end of the journey, the destination, the place you can happily live after…

But,

Success is a kind of feeling. Success is a moving target. Success is a sense of achievement at one stage of your life. Your life moves on, so you always can reach your next success down the road.

When you are success, it’s great that you have embodied your capability and skills now for certain things you’ve done. However, what got you here, may not get you there. This success can’t guarantee your next success.

The good news is that you were successful once, you have better chance to do it again. You can copy what you’ve succeeded for other things you want to do.

The key is to keep your momentum of success. Make it sustainable. Make it a habit.

A sense of success is a wonderful feeling after all.

One connection at a time

What is the number one important thing in our life?

Relationship.

We live in a society, in a community, in a family. We are social animals. No one lives in vacuum.

Only when we have good relationships with people around us, with surroundings, we feel happy. We can get support. We feel connected.

Therefore, get connections and build relationships are essential for having a quality life.

It’s tricky to connect people. This needs you to get under people’s skin, have empathy, produce influence. This takes time to learn, practice. But it’s totally worthy it.

Be patient. Build one connection at a time. Over time, these connections are becoming a net. As the net becomes bigger, you grow stronger.

3 Words for Acceptance

We are sometimes in situations where we are hurt or injured, we are stuck in a traffic going no where, we are mistreated…

What do we do?

Get mad? Get sad? Get sorry for yourself?

One formula to deal with the situations – give yourself five minutes to get rid of your steam, five minutes, that’s it! After that, you need get back to your life, pull off yourself together, forget about what had happened, because you can’t change it.

So remember three words: can’t change it!

Then accept it, move on.

Use the three words as anchor to transfer your energy and emotional power to things you need to do, the life you need to live.

Because you can’t change anything that had happened. Do something new. Change your situation. Refocus yourself for things make your life better.

Your arrow in a bow…

You have your arrow in a bow. And you are about to shoot it…

How far is your target?

If your target is within certain distance and you aim it well, your arrow will be on the target. However, if your target is too far, your arrow is not going to get there…

This is like your goal setting. If you set your goal too far ahead, you are not going to get there. You need to set up your goal close enough, so that you can reach it.

What is your goal setting look like?