Kids ask parents innocently why do you go to work? What would be your answer to the question?
I go to work to make money, it’s true.
What else?
I go to work to have a social life. It’s true.
What else?
I go to work to make myself useful. It is true.
What else?
I go to work to have a good time.
What else?
I go to work with a sense of pride.
What else?
I go to work to make a difference.
What else?
I go to work to…
In a corporate setting, you may hear saying like, “He is a nice guy”, “That is nice”, “This is nicely done”…
What is it exactly nice referring here? There is a problem with being nice.
Being nice is a default mode. It is not the same as being kind and sweet and good.
Being nice is hiding – hiding your true comment, your true self, your true intention in a corporate setting.
The opposite of being nice is being mean. We are not talking being mean here. We are talking that you need to be who you are with your character.
We like you even though you may be stubborn, we like you even though you may be very direct, we like you even though you may be aggressive… you see the pattern here: we like you as a person being who you are.
A company’s development and suitability need all kinds of people, from various disciplines, different backgrounds… the diversity and character make a difference.
Being nice is not a mode where any company or person wants to hang on.
Being yourself, with your unique character, live truly.
We are human being. We always search the answer for who I am.
Once we think we know who we are after soul searching. Have you had any thinking that you are still learning who you are?
Knowing who you are is a big achievement for the time being, as long as you know that the content of who you are is a moving target.
Because you are growing and discovering your potentials every day, what you knew who you are yesterday may have new additions today.
‘This is who I am’ can be used for justification, self defense sometimes. This will limit your growth.
So next time, when you tell yourself ‘this is who I am’, think it hard: is this really the case? Does this reflect my values? My believes? Can I give the benefit of doubt and leap forward once?
By doing this, you can enrich ‘who I am’ and know who you really by reflection.
To form a new habit can be challenging. This requires awareness, persistence, clarity, and stoic.
If you decide to form a new habit, you will need be clear why you want to have it, how to get there, what would be the result of it.
Early stage of starting a new habit can be exciting. You are pumped up and start your new journey.
The hard part is after you practice the habit for a little while, say, a month later. You may enter to a stage of sluggish, or confusion. Because this is where your old habit begins to fight with your new habit.
Your old habit may be stronger and nastier, you may lose your battle if you give up to your old “friend”. Or you can become tougher and clearly know what you want and where you wan to be, so you will head on the challenge, get bruises, sore muscles, and end up with new stronger muscles, therefore new habit.
When you decide to form a new habit, you have made an option to grow new muscles. Be prepared mentally and physically. You will be there.
Many people pursue freedom in their life, actually freedom may be the top life goal for many many people.
We crave for freedom to do things we’d like to do, to live the life we choose to live, to be the person we want to be…
So, if you have the freedom, what is the freedom feel like now?
Someone answered me like this: “When I have the feeling of freedom, I always feel I am growing bigger, enormous, and stretched from extremities to all directions – like a spider net without boarder and I am part of the net.
The connection, be able to express myself, being useful… these give me the feeling of freedom.”
Again, take a moment and feel the freedom in you. What does it feel like?
We want to have influence, to be impactful.
What is the key element to do so?
It’s not power, not authority, not loud voice, not force…
It’s your ability to serve others.
Only when you are able to serve others, you can connect with them and get trust from them.
Serve others mean you know what they need, what they want, and you are capable to provide these to them. Therefore, they listen to you.
Sometimes they don’t know what they want. It’s your responsibility to let them realize or see what they want and provide these to them.
These places are where your leadership shows. Where you serve others that you make your impact.
What is the number one important thing in our life?
Relationship.
We live in a society, in a community, in a family. We are social animals. No one lives in vacuum.
Only when we have good relationships with people around us, with surroundings, we feel happy. We can get support. We feel connected.
Therefore, get connections and build relationships are essential for having a quality life.
It’s tricky to connect people. This needs you to get under people’s skin, have empathy, produce influence. This takes time to learn, practice. But it’s totally worthy it.
Be patient. Build one connection at a time. Over time, these connections are becoming a net. As the net becomes bigger, you grow stronger.
One question is being asked:
“If you have the permission to create, to speak up, to be generous, to fail… what would you do? ”
What comes to your mind when you see the question?
Just pause for a moment and reflect: how many things you do that you are waiting or seeking for permission… check how many of them limits your creativity, how many of them do not reflect your personal identification, how many of them limit your kind initiatives, internal desire and your freedoms…
Image – tomorrow morning you get up. You are entitled the permission to do anything under the law.
What would be one thing you can do at this moment that you will not need permission any more for once?
Then do it.
If you can do something ONCE without permission, you can do this twice, three times, and more times…
Break a routine needs break that routine thinking. It needs awareness, courage, and execution to get new experience, momentum, and transformation.
Go to do ONE thing today that you no longer need the permission.
We are sometimes in situations where we are hurt or injured, we are stuck in a traffic going no where, we are mistreated…
What do we do?
Get mad? Get sad? Get sorry for yourself?
One formula to deal with the situations – give yourself five minutes to get rid of your steam, five minutes, that’s it! After that, you need get back to your life, pull off yourself together, forget about what had happened, because you can’t change it.
So remember three words: can’t change it!
Then accept it, move on.
Use the three words as anchor to transfer your energy and emotional power to things you need to do, the life you need to live.
Because you can’t change anything that had happened. Do something new. Change your situation. Refocus yourself for things make your life better.
You know that you are the sum of your action. Then are you aware what makes you to take action? What are the signals for you to take action?
Just pause for a second…
What did you do before you read my blog? What did make you to read my blog now?
When you reflect this, what picture appears in front of you? May be you can “see” what makes you to do what you do.
There are some signals that may stimulate or trigger you to take action:
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