Eyes on the goal

When I was walking on the glass ceiling of Toronto TV tower, I was fine until I looked down through the glass ceiling… I felt immediately dizzy, panic and could not walk any more.

I stopped, had a couple of deep breath. Then I raised my head, looked forward towards where I wanted to go. I felt fine again and walked across the glass ceiling to the other side.

We set up our goal and are pumped up to execute it. During the journey, we get busy. Then we are buried into meticulous matters, can’t see the end of the tunnel. We begin to loose our momentum, get lost on the way…

Just like walking on a glass ceiling, if we take a pause, review our goal and direction, we will regain our sense of clarity and our vision. We can then recharge and move forward to our goal. When our eyes on the goal, we are courageous.

There may be many “glass ceiling” sections in our life. This is normal.

The good news is that when we feel panic, it is a good signal for us to stop and take an inventory for where we are and where we are going. This is the wisdom of our physiology telling us to make a choice, to put our eyes on our goal.

Tough love

If use the tough love to link a scene, make a sentence, or tell a story, the first one comes to my mind is that we need to give the tough love to our children to let them grow stronger.

Then on a second thought, I realize that tough love can apply to many other areas of our life.

For examples: When we provide constructive suggestions or opinions to others honestly, we are presenting our tough love. When we expose our own vulnerability, we are giving ourselves a tough love.

It is not easy to give someone a tough love. This act calls for wisdom and courage.

Therefore, when someone presents you with their feedbacks and comments, please welcome and savor them. They give these to you, because they care about you. You are remarkable, therefore they make a remark to you.

When you show your vulnerability, you experience weakness, pain. You feel the wound. However, you grow new tissues and new muscles from there, and you become stronger.

On the other hand, it is also not easy for people to accept the tough love, because it needs labor – the physical labor and emotional labor, to be able to accept and receive the tough love.

It is like the pain for a new birth, receiving tough love needs the labor pain. However, this pain let’s us renew, makes us stronger.

Let’s embrace tough love.

Do my best…

I hear people saying “do my best” very often. Actually I used to say this very often as well.

Then one day, I suddenly realized that when I said “do my best” I was trying to use it as a shield – which gave me a shelter for hiding.

Because when I said “do my best” people left me alone. There is no measurement for “do my best”, therefore I could goof around, did not care the consequence of my behaviors. I could hide from my inaction and incapability. And it also could become my excuse when I failed to accomplish something.

So be careful when you say do my best next time.

And also check whoever says do my best.

“Do my best” works for people with motivation, ambition, and goal-minded people. “Do my best” works with creditable people. “Do my best” works in a context of common understanding of the ground rules. “Do my best” works for the people embracing the same culture.

You also can breath and give others’ benefit of doubt when they say this… Do my best is pleasant to hear after all!

Goal is for action

We set up goals for work, for life.

We make dreams for work, for life.

We have visions for work, for life.

Have you stopped and assessed the progress you’ve made for your goals, dreams and visions? How far are you progressing from the time you set them up? How long will you get there?

If you haven’t done anything for your goals, dreams and visions, they are bad ones. Redo them, get some good ones.

Good goals, dreams and visions are those that bring your action, make you excited to do something about, keep you pumped and continued going forward, and recharge you when you are in a dip.

Jack Ma said something about the goal and vision he has for Alibaba… I am paraphrasing here: Because I believe, therefore I can see the realization of my goal and vision.

Goal is the daily drive to get us out of the bed.

Dream is the direction to keep us go, go, go!

Vision is for us to use for verifying them in reality, not for challenging other’s statements.

Edge creation

Life has many bumps and detours. Life also can be too calm, like a sea without any waves.

When the life becomes too still, we get bored.

Human in nature needs new things to grow with life changes: new things to learn, to do, to entertain… without an edge, we may enter into a slow “suicidal” phase.

To keep our flames for life, we need create our edges from time to time.

Only then, when the edge created, it brings tension and drive to our life.

Therefore, life moves on.

Work with people you dislike

No matter what you do, or you don’t do, you always have something or someone you dislike. This is life.

What are you going to do with someone you dislike or may hate at work? This person may be your boss, colleague, or collaborator… How can you make your life livable or for better?

One way to make things better for you is to shift your thinking.

Think at least two things you can learn from the person. Use this person as your best teacher in the world, learn what you do not want to do as a leader, as a team player, as a generous human being.

By thinking this way, you will gain at least two advantages: 1) you learn to be a better person. 2) you gain empathy. And you probably also become less angry, more happy, and more appreciative of your life.

Give the way…

What is the role being a leader?

Lead people, you may say.

I agree with you on this.

What is the important role being a leader?

This question gets many different answers.

I would argue that the import role of being a leader is to give the way to others.

Being a leader is to remember that everyone has potentials, talent, and capabilities. Our role as a leader is to pave the way for others to strive for their best, and trust them on their way to get there.

Being a leader is to get out of our own story, be open, give others’ space to grow.

Being a leader is to give the way to others, let them speed it up on their own pace.

Chinese proverb says: Three stooges are better than Zhuge Liang. Which means collective wisdom wins.

As a leader, it is how to maximize the collective wisdom and let them be the energy force for your organization and team.

Give the way and lead the way alternatively.

I would say give the way most of the time, serve others. Leader is not necessarily the star; the team or the organization is the star. I am always grateful and proud of my team for their initiatives, talents and collective spirit.

Give the way and serve the team are the essence of a leader.

Showing up

We make promises. We make plans. We want to make a difference.

All of these requires that you show up.

You show up for your promises, for your plans and for making changes.

Someone said: success is 90% showing up + 10% effort.

I am not totally sure that is the exactly number or percentage for everyone. But it certainly tells the truth – success needs constant working towards your goals, your intentions and making an effort.

You need showing up when you don’t feel like so, when you are exhausted, when you encounter failures, when you feel you are not ready…

Whether you are ready or not, step up, show up, and go, go, go!

What is in it for me?

What’s in it for me?

To answer this question may be one of the strongest drives for us to do things, or not to do things.

However, the question is a neutral one.

The negative notion raised by this question may reflect our selfish side. The positive side may include that it can remind us about our intention, purpose, basically to what end we do what we do?

More often we may even not clearly know what’s in it for me. We follow our intuition to make decisions, or choices. Therefore, knowing our what’s in it for me will help us to reflect, redirect, recharge, or discharge…

Do you follow rules to live your life?

Many of us live life by defaults – follow norms, rules surrounded us.

We do what our parents tell us to do.
We do these because we are told by our teachers to do so.
We do these because of our peers do.
We do these because of our society says so.

If we break rules, we are criticized; are punished; are not accepted.

Then how do you move forward by certain rules that are not applicable to you?

Someone said:

“If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them.”

Check if you follow rules that do not apply to you. If you do have those rules, break them, or ignore them.

Move on with your life.