If use the tough love to link a scene, make a sentence, or tell a story, the first one comes to my mind is that we need to give the tough love to our children to let them grow stronger.
Then on a second thought, I realize that tough love can apply to many other areas of our life.
I hear people saying “do my best” very often. Actually I used to say this very often as well.
Then one day, I suddenly realized that when I said “do my best” I was trying to use it as a shield – which gave me a shelter for hiding.
Because when I said “do my best” people left me alone. There is no measurement for “do my best”, therefore I could goof around, did not care the consequence of my behaviors. I could hide from my inaction and incapability. And it also could become my excuse when I failed to accomplish something.
So be careful when you say do my best next time.
And also check whoever says do my best.
“Do my best” works for people with motivation, ambition, and goal-minded people. “Do my best” works with creditable people. “Do my best” works in a context of common understanding of the ground rules. “Do my best” works for the people embracing the same culture.
You also can breath and give others’ benefit of doubt when they say this… Do my best is pleasant to hear after all!
We set up goals for work, for life.
We make dreams for work, for life.
We have visions for work, for life.
Have you stopped and assessed the progress you’ve made for your goals, dreams and visions? How far are you progressing from the time you set them up? How long will you get there?
If you haven’t done anything for your goals, dreams and visions, they are bad ones. Redo them, get some good ones.
Good goals, dreams and visions are those that bring your action, make you excited to do something about, keep you pumped and continued going forward, and recharge you when you are in a dip.
Jack Ma said something about the goal and vision he has for Alibaba… I am paraphrasing here: Because I believe, therefore I can see the realization of my goal and vision.
Goal is the daily drive to get us out of the bed.
Dream is the direction to keep us go, go, go!
Vision is for us to use for verifying them in reality, not for challenging other’s statements.
Life has many bumps and detours. Life also can be too calm, like a sea without any waves.
When the life becomes too still, we get bored.
Human in nature needs new things to grow with life changes: new things to learn, to do, to entertain… without an edge, we may enter into a slow “suicidal” phase.
To keep our flames for life, we need create our edges from time to time.
Only then, when the edge created, it brings tension and drive to our life.
Therefore, life moves on.
No matter what you do, or you don’t do, you always have something or someone you dislike. This is life.
What are you going to do with someone you dislike or may hate at work? This person may be your boss, colleague, or collaborator… How can you make your life livable or for better?
One way to make things better for you is to shift your thinking.
Think at least two things you can learn from the person. Use this person as your best teacher in the world, learn what you do not want to do as a leader, as a team player, as a generous human being.
By thinking this way, you will gain at least two advantages: 1) you learn to be a better person. 2) you gain empathy. And you probably also become less angry, more happy, and more appreciative of your life.
Many of us live life by defaults – follow norms, rules surrounded us.
If we break rules, we are criticized; are punished; are not accepted.
Then how do you move forward by certain rules that are not applicable to you?
Someone said:
“If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them.”
Check if you follow rules that do not apply to you. If you do have those rules, break them, or ignore them.
Move on with your life.
We want to do our best, give our best, and be our best…
All these can be achieved through our disciplined intention.
Do your mindful labor, give your best intentionally.
It is never enough to emphasize the importance of practice, no matter what you do.
A knife left for no use for a long long time becomes rusty.
A speech contest Champion did not give speech for a long long time becomes rusty.
You become rusty speaking Chinese because you haven’t used for a long long time…
Don’t take granted for the skills you have. Practice more before you use it again. Practice makes perfect.
I had experience that when I did not forgive someone, it took more energy out of me to manage my interactions with her: conversations, behaviors, and emotions…
The truth is that when we don’t forgive anyone, the person takes a space in us. The longer we hang on the matter, the bigger space the matter takes, the heavier the matter becomes… Then we are trapped.
To release us from the trap, we need to let the nod go, to forgive others.
We need to be empathetic towards others. We need to give them space to grow. Or simply we need to allow them making their way of living.
Forgive others, release your energy to do something good, for better.
WE-FIVE 