Do my best…

I hear people saying “do my best” very often. Actually I used to say this very often as well.

Then one day, I suddenly realized that when I said “do my best” I was trying to use it as a shield – which gave me a shelter for hiding.

Because when I said “do my best” people left me alone. There is no measurement for “do my best”, therefore I could goof around, did not care the consequence of my behaviors. I could hide from my inaction and incapability. And it also could become my excuse when I failed to accomplish something.

So be careful when you say do my best next time.

And also check whoever says do my best.

“Do my best” works for people with motivation, ambition, and goal-minded people. “Do my best” works with creditable people. “Do my best” works in a context of common understanding of the ground rules. “Do my best” works for the people embracing the same culture.

You also can breath and give others’ benefit of doubt when they say this… Do my best is pleasant to hear after all!

Edge creation

Life has many bumps and detours. Life also can be too calm, like a sea without any waves.

When the life becomes too still, we get bored.

Human in nature needs new things to grow with life changes: new things to learn, to do, to entertain… without an edge, we may enter into a slow “suicidal” phase.

To keep our flames for life, we need create our edges from time to time.

Only then, when the edge created, it brings tension and drive to our life.

Therefore, life moves on.

To be kind

Confucius said that Human nature is kind… this statement has impacted many generations.

To be kind is one of the doctrines my parents and school teachers told me when I was young. Therefore, to some extent, I think to be kind is in a personal level for a long long time.

Then,

It is interesting to know that today some companies have To be kind as one of the ground rules of their operation. The rule of To be kind has huge positive implication for their employees.

To be kind empowers employees to be their best because their employers are kind;
To be kind gives people room to grow when their fellows and bosses allow them to make mistakes;
To be kind increases people’s empathy when they see themselves from others as their mirror;
To be kind increases trust and connects people, makes team work more efficient;
To be kind makes ourselves happier because we make others happy…
…

The companies set up To be kind as one of their rules will attract people alike. Like-minded people will form a positive atmosphere for people working there. Therefore, a positive cycle forms. I want to know more companies having this rule.

To be kind is a nature in human.

Give the way…

What is the role being a leader?

Lead people, you may say.

I agree with you on this.

What is the important role being a leader?

This question gets many different answers.

I would argue that the import role of being a leader is to give the way to others.

Being a leader is to remember that everyone has potentials, talent, and capabilities. Our role as a leader is to pave the way for others to strive for their best, and trust them on their way to get there.

Being a leader is to get out of our own story, be open, give others’ space to grow.

Being a leader is to give the way to others, let them speed it up on their own pace.

Chinese proverb says: Three stooges are better than Zhuge Liang. Which means collective wisdom wins.

As a leader, it is how to maximize the collective wisdom and let them be the energy force for your organization and team.

Give the way and lead the way alternatively.

I would say give the way most of the time, serve others. Leader is not necessarily the star; the team or the organization is the star. I am always grateful and proud of my team for their initiatives, talents and collective spirit.

Give the way and serve the team are the essence of a leader.

Do you follow rules to live your life?

Many of us live life by defaults – follow norms, rules surrounded us.

We do what our parents tell us to do.
We do these because we are told by our teachers to do so.
We do these because of our peers do.
We do these because of our society says so.

If we break rules, we are criticized; are punished; are not accepted.

Then how do you move forward by certain rules that are not applicable to you?

Someone said:

“If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them.”

Check if you follow rules that do not apply to you. If you do have those rules, break them, or ignore them.

Move on with your life.

Service mind and generosity

Being successful has been over emphasized. It has been mistaken as the self achievement to a large degree. It has been labeled as being rich or famous, or even being interpreted as permanent.

Success like everything in life is impermanent.

Those got you success will not guarantee your success once you move to a new role. As we all know: those got you here will not bring you there.

However, there is one permanent element that can bring you joy and fulfillment to your life. This element is being generous.

When you give your generosity by being show up and being empathetic to serve others, you live your real self. You are successful in your own way.

Being generous requires courage, especially when you do not feel doing so. When you are wrongly accused; when you are set up for failure; when you are tired; when your vulnerability is exposed… these are the occasions calling for your leadership and requiring your courage.

Also during these tough occasions you need to come back to your sense of self. You need raise your awareness by meditation, reflection and getting your self together. You know deep down to the heart that you want to do more, express more, serve more. You might just need a break, a quiet place, a hug to your self, a talk to your self.

Then make time and space to do these.

Recharge yourself.

Let your service mind comes back to you.

Practice, practice, practice…

It is never enough to emphasize the importance of practice, no matter what you do.

A knife left for no use for a long long time becomes rusty.

A speech contest Champion did not give speech for a long long time becomes rusty.

You become rusty speaking Chinese because you haven’t used for a long long time…

Don’t take granted for the skills you have. Practice more before you use it again. Practice makes perfect.

Imposter-ish…

What does it tell you when you feel you are an imposter?

My friends told me they feel their imposter-ish moments or situations:

When they are promoted to a higher position;
When they have multiple roles to play, the situations where they play more glamours role;
When they are called to be sitting at the boss’ table;
When they are praised by their boss…

Any of these examples has showed the fear in us. We want to hide, but we are on the spot, no where to hide.

We are afraid of exposure of our vulnerability.

What it takes is courage – the courage to dare greatly.

Why not allow us breaking our own rules, our small talks, and our shell. Do something you never have done before. Release your energy, break free, and dare greatly!

Scarcity

When I was little my parents alway told me to save candies or changes aside for future, a raining day, or another occasion. That may be one of the reasons I have developed some sort of scarcity mentality.

I save my best clothes for another important occasion. I save part of my energy for another day. I save some of my ideas to use in future… you get the idea – the mentality of scarcity has spilled over to my daily life and work.

When we live present, we give it all. We allow us to have free flow and totally immerse in the present moment. With abundance in mind, we can achieve the freedom we want.

There is no scarcity to find something you love for a living. There is only scarcity to resolve to find a way how to do it.

Serve others

I volunteer for two days as a judge for National speech and debate tournament for elementary to high school students.

Being a judge is a quite demanding job, taking all my weekends away. However, the speeches, statements and rebuttals given by contestants are wonderful and powerful stimulants. They keep me inspired, moved me and keep me smile and also in deep thought… what a ride!

Reciprocity is the word came to me. I am awarded handsomely.