Go with the flow

A close friend who has a typical type A personality, came back from a trip to Bali. She told me that the trip has big impact on her. The biggest one is to remember or remind herself from time to time to go with the flow.

“Why is that?” I asked her.

“Because I feel going with the flow relaxed me. I feel myself again, peace, happy and also become more energetic…”

She is right.

Flow is a energy. Going with flow is to go to the direction of energy. You give the way to the energy, not block the way of the energy. Of course you will feel better, because you are riding with the energy!

These are the moments when you are absorbed into doing your work, realizing your dream and making a difference with sweats.

Eyes on the goal

When I was walking on the glass ceiling of Toronto TV tower, I was fine until I looked down through the glass ceiling… I felt immediately dizzy, panic and could not walk any more.

I stopped, had a couple of deep breath. Then I raised my head, looked forward towards where I wanted to go. I felt fine again and walked across the glass ceiling to the other side.

We set up our goal and are pumped up to execute it. During the journey, we get busy. Then we are buried into meticulous matters, can’t see the end of the tunnel. We begin to loose our momentum, get lost on the way…

Just like walking on a glass ceiling, if we take a pause, review our goal and direction, we will regain our sense of clarity and our vision. We can then recharge and move forward to our goal. When our eyes on the goal, we are courageous.

There may be many “glass ceiling” sections in our life. This is normal.

The good news is that when we feel panic, it is a good signal for us to stop and take an inventory for where we are and where we are going. This is the wisdom of our physiology telling us to make a choice, to put our eyes on our goal.

Goal is for action

We set up goals for work, for life.

We make dreams for work, for life.

We have visions for work, for life.

Have you stopped and assessed the progress you’ve made for your goals, dreams and visions? How far are you progressing from the time you set them up? How long will you get there?

If you haven’t done anything for your goals, dreams and visions, they are bad ones. Redo them, get some good ones.

Good goals, dreams and visions are those that bring your action, make you excited to do something about, keep you pumped and continued going forward, and recharge you when you are in a dip.

Jack Ma said something about the goal and vision he has for Alibaba… I am paraphrasing here: Because I believe, therefore I can see the realization of my goal and vision.

Goal is the daily drive to get us out of the bed.

Dream is the direction to keep us go, go, go!

Vision is for us to use for verifying them in reality, not for challenging other’s statements.

To be kind

Confucius said that Human nature is kind… this statement has impacted many generations.

To be kind is one of the doctrines my parents and school teachers told me when I was young. Therefore, to some extent, I think to be kind is in a personal level for a long long time.

Then,

It is interesting to know that today some companies have To be kind as one of the ground rules of their operation. The rule of To be kind has huge positive implication for their employees.

To be kind empowers employees to be their best because their employers are kind;
To be kind gives people room to grow when their fellows and bosses allow them to make mistakes;
To be kind increases people’s empathy when they see themselves from others as their mirror;
To be kind increases trust and connects people, makes team work more efficient;
To be kind makes ourselves happier because we make others happy…
…

The companies set up To be kind as one of their rules will attract people alike. Like-minded people will form a positive atmosphere for people working there. Therefore, a positive cycle forms. I want to know more companies having this rule.

To be kind is a nature in human.

Work with people you dislike

No matter what you do, or you don’t do, you always have something or someone you dislike. This is life.

What are you going to do with someone you dislike or may hate at work? This person may be your boss, colleague, or collaborator… How can you make your life livable or for better?

One way to make things better for you is to shift your thinking.

Think at least two things you can learn from the person. Use this person as your best teacher in the world, learn what you do not want to do as a leader, as a team player, as a generous human being.

By thinking this way, you will gain at least two advantages: 1) you learn to be a better person. 2) you gain empathy. And you probably also become less angry, more happy, and more appreciative of your life.

What is in it for me?

What’s in it for me?

To answer this question may be one of the strongest drives for us to do things, or not to do things.

However, the question is a neutral one.

The negative notion raised by this question may reflect our selfish side. The positive side may include that it can remind us about our intention, purpose, basically to what end we do what we do?

More often we may even not clearly know what’s in it for me. We follow our intuition to make decisions, or choices. Therefore, knowing our what’s in it for me will help us to reflect, redirect, recharge, or discharge…

Give your best intentionally

We want to do our best, give our best, and be our best…

All these can be achieved through our disciplined intention.

Do your mindful labor, give your best intentionally.

Service mind and generosity

Being successful has been over emphasized. It has been mistaken as the self achievement to a large degree. It has been labeled as being rich or famous, or even being interpreted as permanent.

Success like everything in life is impermanent.

Those got you success will not guarantee your success once you move to a new role. As we all know: those got you here will not bring you there.

However, there is one permanent element that can bring you joy and fulfillment to your life. This element is being generous.

When you give your generosity by being show up and being empathetic to serve others, you live your real self. You are successful in your own way.

Being generous requires courage, especially when you do not feel doing so. When you are wrongly accused; when you are set up for failure; when you are tired; when your vulnerability is exposed… these are the occasions calling for your leadership and requiring your courage.

Also during these tough occasions you need to come back to your sense of self. You need raise your awareness by meditation, reflection and getting your self together. You know deep down to the heart that you want to do more, express more, serve more. You might just need a break, a quiet place, a hug to your self, a talk to your self.

Then make time and space to do these.

Recharge yourself.

Let your service mind comes back to you.

Imposter-ish…

What does it tell you when you feel you are an imposter?

My friends told me they feel their imposter-ish moments or situations:

When they are promoted to a higher position;
When they have multiple roles to play, the situations where they play more glamours role;
When they are called to be sitting at the boss’ table;
When they are praised by their boss…

Any of these examples has showed the fear in us. We want to hide, but we are on the spot, no where to hide.

We are afraid of exposure of our vulnerability.

What it takes is courage – the courage to dare greatly.

Why not allow us breaking our own rules, our small talks, and our shell. Do something you never have done before. Release your energy, break free, and dare greatly!

Not forgive others drain your energy

I had experience that when I did not forgive someone, it took more energy out of me to manage my interactions with her: conversations, behaviors, and emotions…

The truth is that when we don’t forgive anyone, the person takes a space in us. The longer we hang on the matter, the bigger space the matter takes, the heavier the matter becomes… Then we are trapped.

To release us from the trap, we need to let the nod go, to forgive others.

We need to be empathetic towards others. We need to give them space to grow. Or simply we need to allow them making their way of living.

Forgive others, release your energy to do something good, for better.