Getting self help book is to get your prescription

If you go to see your doctor, she gives you a prescription after. Will you go to drug store to get your medicine?

“Why not?” You May ask.

Exactly. You will.

But, think for a moment: did you read all the self help books you bought in the past? How many you actually read well?

I remember even last November when I clean my book shelf, I found a few books I haven’t started reading yet…

What is going on here?

For me, the time I search books and buy books is the most exciting time. Because I have the urge to learn something from reading these books and with underlined statement that I will gain skills and knowledge from the reading – to become a better self somewhat.

When books arrive to me, I feel that I have completed some of my mission – it feels that I already “there” (read the books). And my enthusiasm for gaining the information has diminishing a little bit.

I knew I need some help in contain areas, but I did not want to do the hard work to read the books.

The hard work is to take action.

The hard work is to do the work.

If we just buy the books and don’t read them, we are hiding. We using owning books as excuses for not doing the real work.

Getting the self help book and read them.

Do the real work.

Take your medicine.

You will become a better a little bit after reading each book. Your aggregated progress by reading one book at a time gets you a little bit better every time, and a better self.

Ups and downs

We have ups and downs in life. This is normal. And these ups and downs are temporary.

Even though when we are at the down turn, it feels painful, like forever, and this all will pass.

It is key for us to keep leveled during these turns and waves. We need to live our life. If we look forward down the road in five, ten years of time, we know the down turns should be all passed and over by then.

The difficulty is to keep looking forward without being buried in the setbacks. To keep a promising mind, a positive altitude, and curiosity towards to life,

Difficulties, setbacks and shall be passed. They are temporary.

A success is temporary, just like failure.

Our life is forever, as long as we live.

Enjoy both ups and downs.

Why do we read?

I like reading.

I read every day.

If I do not read for one day, my mind knows it. If I do not read for two days, my body knows it. If I do not read for three days, my husband knows it. If I do not read for four days, people working with me know it.

Read for me is a type of meditation. Reading is the time for me to recharge. Reading is the time I communicate with my mind.

Without reading, in the garden of mind weeds may start to grow. Reading keeps the weeds in my mind at the bay, and keeps my mind peaceful and cheerful.

Why do you read? What does reading make you feel?

We read to enrich our mind, body and soul.

A good book not only teaches us new knowledge, it also elicits our internal drives, potentials, and wants. A good book is a good friend, a coach, a resources that we can know more who we are.

Hanging on there a little bit more

When I started to run for 5K, it’s the last a few minutes to the finish line that called my ability to overcome the puffing and struggles of my legs and feet.

Once I was able to run 5K easily, it’s the last few minutes for 10K finishing line testing my will and ability…

It’s the last a few minutes where we stretch, grow and increase our new abilities. It’s the last a few minutes that test our will, test our ability to keep the promise we’ve made to ourselves, and test our strength to overcome the challenges.

It’s the last a few minutes to finish line test us; it’s the last a few pounds we want to loose test us; it’s the last a few pages of our report test us; it’s the last a few follow ups test us…

When you start something, you will finish it – whether it’s a success, a mediocre, a failure… you get to reach your finish line.

You just need hanging on there a little bit more.

Do you really know ‘Who you are’ ?

We are human being. We always search the answer for who I am.

Once we think we know who we are after soul searching. Have you had any thinking that you are still learning who you are?

Knowing who you are is a big achievement for the time being, as long as you know that the content of who you are is a moving target.

Because you are growing and discovering your potentials every day, what you knew who you are yesterday may have new additions today.

‘This is who I am’ can be used for justification, self defense sometimes. This will limit your growth.

So next time, when you tell yourself ‘this is who I am’, think it hard: is this really the case? Does this reflect my values? My believes? Can I give the benefit of doubt and leap forward once?

By doing this, you can enrich ‘who I am’ and know who you really by reflection.

Positive thinking… and?

You know positive thinking is crucial and important for your success.

Is positive thinking sufficient for your success? Do you need anything else?

Positive thinking is the first crucial step for your success. And you need more steps to be successful.

With the positive thinking, you will need be prepared for the bumpy roads ahead physically and emotionally.

You will need to have healthy body and mind to carry your positive thinking and energy through the journey.

Your journey can be an upward spiral, it has ups and downs with many turns. It calls for positive altitude, grit and stoic for your success.

Habit formation

To form a new habit can be challenging. This requires awareness, persistence, clarity, and stoic.

If you decide to form a new habit, you will need be clear why you want to have it, how to get there, what would be the result of it.

Early stage of starting a new habit can be exciting. You are pumped up and start your new journey.

The hard part is after you practice the habit for a little while, say, a month later. You may enter to a stage of sluggish, or confusion. Because this is where your old habit begins to fight with your new habit.

Your old habit may be stronger and nastier, you may lose your battle if you give up to your old “friend”. Or you can become tougher and clearly know what you want and where you wan to be, so you will head on the challenge, get bruises, sore muscles, and end up with new stronger muscles, therefore new habit.

When you decide to form a new habit, you have made an option to grow new muscles. Be prepared mentally and physically. You will be there.

Emotions are for actions…

When you are emotional, what would do?

Say, when you have various emotional situations: happy, excited, sad, angry, jealous, sympathetic, empathetic, fear… What would you do about them?

When Experiencing an Emotion it is a good signal for you to take action.

Emotions are telling you something about yourself. This is the best time to exam yourself and check what is going on inside and do something about it.

Usually emotions are reflecting either what’s going on is resonating with you or discords with your values and believes.

So, when you are emotional, it is the time to reflect again who are you, what you want?

Emotions are for you to take actions.

The most precious gift

What would be the most precious gift in the world one can give to each other?

What would you give to your significant other? to your children? to your parents? to your best friends?

I ask people about this question and I pay attention to the answers from some of the most successful people in the world. They say the most precious gift they receive or give is time – the time being with others, and the time you give each other.

The time being with others means you are there for real, not for a show.

We live in a hectic world with disruptions all the time. It is a challenge for anyone to be present without distraction.

Being there for someone is precious.

When the people you care need your being there, you are there for them, 100% being there, no divided attention. You are present for them: may be to help them physically, may be to give advice, may be simply being a listener, may be just there to share sometime together, may be there just giving them a big hug…

The time giving each other means you have empathy for others, you have respect for others, you have trust for others.

You give others time to think over about things on their own terms, you give others time to do things on their own pace and journey, because you trust them strong and brave enough to learn and do a good job. This is where tough love comes in.

Children learn how to walk, how to talk with different paces. You can’t walk or talk for them and trust them being able to do these themselves after all.

Time is precious. Give this precious gift wisely.

Self development

Self development is a life long process.

When talking to a 30 year old, she says she and her friends in the same age feel really grown up. They feel they are more confident than the time when they were 20 year old. And they can make money and live independently. They think they are in a very good place.

When talking to a 40 year old, she says she feels she becomes more clear about who she is now, and she is confident and has no fear to do anything. She feels she can conquer the world.

When talking to a 50 year old, she says that now she knows what is more important for her in life. She has courage to say Nos to things do not bringing much value. She has a free soul, does things efficiently and yet considerate. She is energetic, full of life.

One of my best friends in her 60s, she had her biggest promotion at the age of 60 years old. Now she grows her coaching business and running the company in full speed at her age of 66. She is one of the most generous people in my life. She says she does not feel retire any time soon…

people always grow, no matter how old you are.

Self development is a marathon.

When you grow your self, remember:

Stope focusing on gaining the approval of others and starting to improve and develop yourself.