Category: influence

Dance with fear

We encounter fear often if we are growing – grow personally, grow our work, grow our family… this is normal.

Fear is usually telling us the very thing we need to do, to get to do, to grow out of it.

It is how we deal with fear that boosts, deters, and ultimately measures our growth.

Dance with fear is the way moving forward.

Dance with fear means we face it. We see it. We are aware what intimidates us. We know where it comes.

Dance with fear means we are going to move forward with it. We can’t get rid of it. But we can still go, go, go while being with it.

Dance with fear means leadership. We know we are vulnerable, yet we get to do it any way. We know we might not be right, yet we do our best anyway.

Dance with fear is how we can make one step at a time, little by little we can be better. Therefore, we can do better things.

Ask for help…

Asking for help is not a easy thing to do. It does not come naturally to many people.

When we ask for help, we expose our weakness to others. We put ourselves at a vulnerable position, in case we get a refusal, an unfair judgement, or even a destained comments or looks…

However, asking for help also provides opportunity for us to learn, to make connection, to help others clarifying things… And the most important one is that this helps us grew stronger, more connected with others and the world we live.

Asking for help is to build our community, to form our team, to grow our leadership.

About alignments…

Very often I hear that many companies, departments, working groups seek for alignments before a decision is made. We all know that this is a typical culture for many Japanese companies. Consensus decision making is working in Japan.

Obviously there are advantages for aligned decision making approach. Such as, it can reduce the potential risks, it makes everyone throughly understood the approach therefore everyone has a clear goal in mind, it may get the best outcome with many round’s of discussion… this works better in a context of seeking stead growth.

And the disadvantages are also evident. It takes too much time, less flexible, not agile, and may kill productivity… this slows down a company’s development in a fast paced context.

Currently, we are in an environment more or less like the second scenario. We need to respond the demands from marketplace quickly with agility. Therefore, quick decision is needed more and more.

Decisions related to housekeeping matters are more suitable for aligned approaches, while those decisions related to company’s growth and development are required quicker responses, may not need to be aligned from time to time.

Starting to take lead and responsibilities to make decision is not a easy thing. It calls for courages, determination and wisdom.

Go with the flow

A close friend who has a typical type A personality, came back from a trip to Bali. She told me that the trip has big impact on her. The biggest one is to remember or remind herself from time to time to go with the flow.

“Why is that?” I asked her.

“Because I feel going with the flow relaxed me. I feel myself again, peace, happy and also become more energetic…”

She is right.

Flow is a energy. Going with flow is to go to the direction of energy. You give the way to the energy, not block the way of the energy. Of course you will feel better, because you are riding with the energy!

These are the moments when you are absorbed into doing your work, realizing your dream and making a difference with sweats.

What is being professional?

It does not matter what you do for living, you often hear the term – being professional.

What is exactly being professional? How does the person being professional look like?

She may be wearing suits, or dressing semi-formal. She speaks with knowledge and pleasant manner. She respects others. She delivers her results. She is herself: disciplined, works hard, emotional mature…

What else?

Is she a leader or a follower or both?

Will these roles change her behaviors as a professional?

One thing for sue is that as a professional, you create and produce values for what you do. Therefore, from time to time you will face situations where you will need break a structure, a system, a rule, or you face challenges to yield, bend your principles, even give up…

what will you do?

Do you need spiritual support, psychic power to beef it up?

Being professional calls for ethics, principles. This is the essence being a professional.

With your values, ethics and principles in mind, they empower you being professional.

Tough love

If use the tough love to link a scene, make a sentence, or tell a story, the first one comes to my mind is that we need to give the tough love to our children to let them grow stronger.

Then on a second thought, I realize that tough love can apply to many other areas of our life.

  • For examples: When we provide constructive suggestions or opinions to others honestly, we are presenting our tough love. When we expose our own vulnerability, we are giving ourselves a tough love.
  • It is not easy to give someone a tough love. This act calls for wisdom and courage.
  • Therefore, when someone presents you with their feedbacks and comments, please welcome and savor them. They give these to you, because they care about you. You are remarkable, therefore they make a remark to you.
  • When you show your vulnerability, you experience weakness, pain. You feel the wound. However, you grow new tissues and new muscles from there, and you become stronger.
  • On the other hand, it is also not easy for people to accept the tough love, because it needs labor – the physical labor and emotional labor, to be able to accept and receive the tough love.
  • It is like the pain for a new birth, receiving tough love needs the labor pain. However, this pain let’s us renew, makes us stronger.
  • Let’s embrace tough love.

  • Do my best…

    I hear people saying “do my best” very often. Actually I used to say this very often as well.

    Then one day, I suddenly realized that when I said “do my best” I was trying to use it as a shield – which gave me a shelter for hiding.

    Because when I said “do my best” people left me alone. There is no measurement for “do my best”, therefore I could goof around, did not care the consequence of my behaviors. I could hide from my inaction and incapability. And it also could become my excuse when I failed to accomplish something.

    So be careful when you say do my best next time.

    And also check whoever says do my best.

    “Do my best” works for people with motivation, ambition, and goal-minded people. “Do my best” works with creditable people. “Do my best” works in a context of common understanding of the ground rules. “Do my best” works for the people embracing the same culture.

    You also can breath and give others’ benefit of doubt when they say this… Do my best is pleasant to hear after all!

    Edge creation

    Life has many bumps and detours. Life also can be too calm, like a sea without any waves.

    When the life becomes too still, we get bored.

    Human in nature needs new things to grow with life changes: new things to learn, to do, to entertain… without an edge, we may enter into a slow “suicidal” phase.

    To keep our flames for life, we need create our edges from time to time.

    Only then, when the edge created, it brings tension and drive to our life.

    Therefore, life moves on.

    4-hour workday, really?

    Have you done an assessment on your daily working hours? I know, most of us may have a standard eight to seven working hours a day. But, seriously, have you checked how many hours you are actually working?

    I bet you may be surprised about your finding.

    If you can focus and work four hours a day, you will be quite productive!

    The trick is how are you going to use this four hours efficiently.

    I have a friend who is General Manager and a Board Member of a mid-size company. She separates her four hours into two to three blocks a day for working, and uses other times to read, think and write whenever she can.

    This arrangement has made her “more creative, fresh and being in the role”, as she put it.

    Of course, this mentality can be adapted by any people from any role or position. We need to test the suitability and our own blocks of time. The key is to be more productive, and keep ourselves fresh and happy about what we do.

    If we can have 4-hours a day work done efficiently, we can make a difference to our life and our working environment.

    Why not take a leap of faith and try work four hours a day?