What is your story today?

When you went through a difficult time, encountered frustrations, did you notice what’s going on with your thinking? Did you tell yourself a story? Did you make some statement, assertions, which you were not sure they were true or false?

I caught myself telling me that how others were wrong, how I was misunderstood, how was unfair for me…

when I came to my sense, I realized that many of the thinking was my assumption, biased views, out of self-pity and self-insecurity.

My story was not helpful.

It did not help me to get over the unpleasant situations. It did not empower me to find a solution for the situation. It did not activate me to see the situation from other angles.

Therefore, next time something bad happens, don’t dwell on how unfair it feels. Or unjust. Or poorly-timed. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost. 

You can’t control what happened.

However, you can tell yourself a different story. And you can control how you respond. 

You can do this by noticing the moment of self story telling, and pay attention what kind of story you are telling yourself.

Make sure you are telling yourself a useful story that can energize you, can open your mind and set you free.

Put your energy into controlling how the story you someday tell yourself. And watch how the story turns out.

Focus on contribution

Whoever is working, no matter for herself or for somebody else or for an organization, she has to contribute her share of responsibility. This is the way showing your presence and your value.

Focus on contribution is the way for anyone to grow, to discover her potential, to have her impact in her cycle, community, society.

Focus on contribution is an essential element for any top management, any executive, any business owner, anyone self-employed.

Focus on contribution means you take responsibility for results. It means that you are accountable for the performance.

Anyone focusing on contribution has a growth mind.

Anyone who does not ask herself, “What can I contribute?” are not only likely to aim too low, she is likely to aim at the wrong things. 

Commitment to contribution is the commitment to responsible effectiveness.

You can ask yourself from time to time, “What can I and no one else do which, if done really well, would make a real difference to this situation or office or company?”

This will change the way how can you approach the situation, office, or company. You focus on contribution. You will become more effective.

Persuasive words and phrases

We live in an interactive world, and connect with people.

We need to influence others, persuade people every day, vice versa.

Certain words and phrases are powerful when you want to persuade people. And some words and phrases are effective when you refuse other’s persuasion or request.

Such as, the following Words and Phrases can be persuasive:

  • Because
  • Would you mind . . . 
  • I have a rule . . .
  • I just wanted to clarify . . .
  • Is there anything you can do for me?
  • Thank you.
  • This is just between you and me.

The following words and phrases can be powerful to say No:

  • I don’t do that.
  • I have a rule…
  • Thank you.
  • I am not interested.

Affirmations

What are affirmations?

According to online definition: “Affirmations related to your diet and lifestyle will help in changing you habitual patterns and thinking.

How do affirmations work?

When you want something badly, you need to remind and tell yourself constantly, say, several times a day if that helps.

Years ago, I was getting my professional coaching skills certified. And I was asked what did I want to do with my coaching certification. I searched in my heart and was sure that I wanted to use my coaching skills together with my technical background to serve people. This affirmation kept coming back to me during that period.

Within a year of completion of my certification, I was offered a position matching my affirmation.

Scott Adams used affirmations when he wanted something happen whole heartily. And things did happen the ways he did affirmations every time.

Affirmations may bring you:

  • Clarity on what you want for the time being
  • Focus on what you do for the same time being
  • Energy to do what you want
  • Realizing your affirmation: achieving your goals, or dreams

When you make your affirmations, be clear on what you want. Let your energy flow with what you want. Do this whole heartily. Be persistent, and you will get what you want.

Metamorphosis in leadership

Leadership means you initiate, lead, and do things that may be no one dares to start yet.

Leadership means you need to connect, earn trust, lead the way without a clear roadmap, and be fearless while knowing the fear in you.

Leadership means that you are agile, empathetic, and willing to be in the shadow while your team is in the spotlight…

A leadership needs metamorphosis.

When talking about leadership in a digital world, Charlene Li said:

This metamorphosis is not easy, comfort, or painless – if your palms are not sweat and your stomach is not churning, you probably haven’t really practicing digital leadership.”

This is also applicable to leadership in any situation.

Leadership with metamorphosis means:

  1. Having a proactive approach
  2. Moving on from things she can’t control
  3. Embracing everything coming to her way and making the best out of it
  4. Living her life
  5. Calculating risks
  6. No gossip
  7. Kindness

Your number one competitor

Who is your number one competitor?

You.

You are your number one competitor. No body else is your competitor, period.

If you can win the competitions, such as put it off for another day self, lying on bed for a little bit longer self, I can do this tomorrow, I can start it another day… you will be the winner.

We very often compare ourself with others, and admire other’s achievements. Many times we compare our shortcomings with somebody’s strength. There is no comparison for this. And you, like everyone else, have your strength, which is unique to you.

As long as you grow a little bit today, learn something today, have brought some insights to your life and your community, you are a better self today than yesterday’s self.

Other’s backyard is not greener. Your backyard has diamonds yet to be discovered. Live your life to your best, not live a life according to other’s standards.

As long as you are doing better things by being a better person, you are competitive.

The power of focus

We know we need focus to be able to achieve something.

Focus is actually a power.

If we can use the power of focus deliberately, we can discover unimaginable energy, drive and determination we born with. We can be empowered with clarity in life.

Something stupendous happens when you focus. Your vision narrows, and you see only the one thing that matters. Sounds and distractions fade away, and time slows way down. There is just you and the object of your focus. There is clarity in your purpose. You are all in.

— CHARLENE LI —

Knowing the power of focus, you can exercise and increase your capacity of focus. The driver of focus is have a plan on what to focus on. What will be the alternatives if the initial plan does not work. Test your plan and find the one you can focus on that gives you the all in energy.

Magic

Things happen in our life for reasons. Sometimes we are not aware what is the reason why it changes, occurs. We say it is a magic.

Actually, magic is no more than a change in consciousness.

It is the awaking awareness that create the magic change in your thinking, in your reasoning of doing things, in your behaviors. All of this process leads to your leap in exploring and stretching your possibilities and potentials.

To change your habits, to form a new habit, to be creative in your life, you get to raise your consciousness.

Your magic in life lies in your consciousness.

May you be healthy

I am in a hospital visiting relatives.

It’s not a good feeling when I see young, middle age, or seniors are suffering from their illness.

No matter what titles or roles you have: CEO, president, teacher, banker, athlete, handsome actor, beautiful actress, top salesman, prize winner… you may be sick. You may become vulnerable. You may loose your indignity in a hospital, no matter how strong you used to be. This is life.

You get to surrender to life, accept life.

Being in hospital it reminds me that we are all the same and want the same thing – be healthy and happy and being loved. Vanity and ego have no space in front of life and death choice. Then, why don’t we limit the role of vanity fairs and ego in our life? Why don’t we put more energy to the people we love, to the things we want to create, to the life we want to live fully?

Being in hospital it reminds me to appreciate our good health, appreciate we have our life, appreciate that we have good healthcare system to help us back to be healthy again.

This also reminds me that we get to call a stop from our busy schedule from time to time. No matter what happens, without life – health, you will not be able to accomplish much. During a stop, readjust your goal in life., reflect what you have been through.

I was asked a question long time ago: how do you rank career, health, fiancé? I have slight different order for the three during different stages of my life. However, be healthy never leaves from my top priorities. Health is the foundation.

May you be healthy.

Why do you go to work?

Kids ask parents innocently why do you go to work? What would be your answer to the question?

I go to work to make money, it’s true.

What else?

I go to work to have a social life. It’s true.

What else?

I go to work to make myself useful. It is true.

What else?

I go to work to have a good time.

What else?

I go to work with a sense of pride.

What else?

I go to work to make a difference.

What else?

I go to work to…