Tag: personal growth

Hold your stake

We live a life with a purpose, even though sometimes we are not clear about our purpose. But, we all do live a purposeful life – no exception.

Your purpose in life is your stake.

So, what is your stake in life?

What are the things in you that are true you? And you will never yield or give them up. If you compromise any of them, you will feel you loose yourself. You get to keep these to be intact, to be able to keep your integrity.

That is your stake.

The reality is more complicated than we can prepare for. We are challenged daily for various matters. These matters change our stake. They bring fears to us. They make us feel vulnerable. They make us fell imposters. They also confuse us…

It is imperative to hold your stake, no matter what has happened.

Your stake is your identity. You stake is the truth to yourself. Your stake is your life boat. Your stake gives your hope, energy and clarity.

I don’t compromise my stake because others go low. I don’t compromise my stake because I am tired. I don’t compromise my stake because my boss, my fellow colleagues, or my friends have done so. I don’t compromise my stake because of temporary benefits or promotion…

I need to have a peaceful sleep to hold on my stake. I need to hold my stake to live freely as who I am, which gives me the ultimate happiness.

Hold you stake.

Find your rhythm

Life is a marathon, which does not end as long as you live.

We may run very fast sometimes. We may need stop to have some foods, drinks, and rest, in order to continue our marathon.

We need plan methodically about our life and work – find that pace, that rhythm , that balance suits us for different segments of our journey,

Our purpose and goals in life are our compass. How to get there is our tactics. We need trial and error to figure out our tactics – the system or structure for our routines, so that we can work hard and have enjoyable time as well.

Find your rhythm:

  • Plan your day: goal of the day? morning routine, evening routine, divide your day into different blocks, each block has its focused point…
  • Plan your week: what is the goal of the week? Divide it into five sub-goals for the week…
  • Plan your weekend: recap? Recharge? Or build up social connections?
  • Plan your month: goal of the month? Divide it into sub-goals for each week…
  • Plan your six month: goal of the half year? Divide it into monthly goal…
  • Plan your goal of the year: divide it into six month goal…

Your rhythm building plan may include these areas: your career, your personal growth plan, your milestones, your health maintaining plan, your social networking plan, your relationship with your significant other, your relationships with your other family members and friends, your financial plan, your leisure plan.

Where are you for the above areas? Where would be your ideal position for each area? How are you to get your ideal position if there is a gap for any of the area?

Do what you love

When you do what you love, you don’t feel you have to go to work, because you enjoy it so much, you live and enjoy your life.

Work becomes your life. The purpose of your work is in sync with your personal meaning. You look forward to your work. Your works makes you happy.

This is an ideal picture.

Not everyone is lucky to find that ideal work. They may get a job. Some of them may even realize later that the job is actually what they love to do.

However, find the work you love in general needs you know what you want at the first place.

Know what you want means you have to know yourself. What energizes you? What resonates with you? What do you want achieve? Where do you want to start? Are you ready to take No as an answer? What stories do you tell yourself? What does a resistance telling you? …

It’s always easier to find a work you love, but it’s difficult to find a means to get there.

To do a work you love becomes a journey to know yourself first. So go to know yourself, it’s never too late to do so.

Internal compass

Ships need compass on the sea to get where they need to go.

We need our internal compass to guide us doing things we need to do.

What is our compass?

I feel good when I have a goal in life and at work. Because with a goal in mind it gives me clarity. Clarity empowers me for my action. My action makes me feel I am producing something to the world, showing my value, and getting closer to the goal.

A goal or purpose can be a compass.

I feel engaged with a company when the company’s mission reflects my personal values as well. My engagement with the company makes me looking forward to work each day. I am pumped and happy doing what I do at work.

A mission and our values can be our compass.

What else can be a compass?

What can make you feel meaningful? What would be your calling? What can get you up from the bed every day? What can make you so excited that you get to do it? …

If you can find your answers to any of the questions, you find your compass.

We are running a life-long marathon. We need different compasses for different stages of our life. Therefore, our compass is a moving target. However, this is exactly the fun in life. We get to find it from time to time. That’s how we move forward.

Take a pause sometimes. Check your internal compass. Are you going with the direction of the compass? It would be a much better journey when you go with your internal compass.

Love yourself first and foremost

I was educated to serve others first from very young by the environment I grew up. If I served myself first, I was criticized as selfish. Therefore, I had been tried hard to think for others, serve others first.

Until…I began my second job, I realized that I was not happy always put others first. When I was not myself, I could not treat others fairly, I could not make others happy even though I tried really hard.

I learned then that only when I am myself, I can treat others better. When I feel happy, I am happily doing my work, talking to others and living happily.

Me comes first is not a selfish act. It is actually a responsible act. It is first and foremost important rule in life.

Michelle Obama said the lesson she learned first year at White House is to love herself first. Only then she can love the President Obama, her daughters, her job and what she does…

Oprah said the similar thing, love yourself first before you could love anyone else truly.

Love yourself first and foremost, then you can love the world more, give more, and create more.

Dance with fear

We encounter fear often if we are growing – grow personally, grow our work, grow our family… this is normal.

Fear is usually telling us the very thing we need to do, to get to do, to grow out of it.

It is how we deal with fear that boosts, deters, and ultimately measures our growth.

Dance with fear is the way moving forward.

Dance with fear means we face it. We see it. We are aware what intimidates us. We know where it comes.

Dance with fear means we are going to move forward with it. We can’t get rid of it. But we can still go, go, go while being with it.

Dance with fear means leadership. We know we are vulnerable, yet we get to do it any way. We know we might not be right, yet we do our best anyway.

Dance with fear is how we can make one step at a time, little by little we can be better. Therefore, we can do better things.

Ask for help…

Asking for help is not a easy thing to do. It does not come naturally to many people.

When we ask for help, we expose our weakness to others. We put ourselves at a vulnerable position, in case we get a refusal, an unfair judgement, or even a destained comments or looks…

However, asking for help also provides opportunity for us to learn, to make connection, to help others clarifying things… And the most important one is that this helps us grew stronger, more connected with others and the world we live.

Asking for help is to build our community, to form our team, to grow our leadership.

What is being professional?

It does not matter what you do for living, you often hear the term – being professional.

What is exactly being professional? How does the person being professional look like?

She may be wearing suits, or dressing semi-formal. She speaks with knowledge and pleasant manner. She respects others. She delivers her results. She is herself: disciplined, works hard, emotional mature…

What else?

Is she a leader or a follower or both?

Will these roles change her behaviors as a professional?

One thing for sue is that as a professional, you create and produce values for what you do. Therefore, from time to time you will face situations where you will need break a structure, a system, a rule, or you face challenges to yield, bend your principles, even give up…

what will you do?

Do you need spiritual support, psychic power to beef it up?

Being professional calls for ethics, principles. This is the essence being a professional.

With your values, ethics and principles in mind, they empower you being professional.

Eyes on the goal

When I was walking on the glass ceiling of Toronto TV tower, I was fine until I looked down through the glass ceiling… I felt immediately dizzy, panic and could not walk any more.

I stopped, had a couple of deep breath. Then I raised my head, looked forward towards where I wanted to go. I felt fine again and walked across the glass ceiling to the other side.

We set up our goal and are pumped up to execute it. During the journey, we get busy. Then we are buried into meticulous matters, can’t see the end of the tunnel. We begin to loose our momentum, get lost on the way…

Just like walking on a glass ceiling, if we take a pause, review our goal and direction, we will regain our sense of clarity and our vision. We can then recharge and move forward to our goal. When our eyes on the goal, we are courageous.

There may be many “glass ceiling” sections in our life. This is normal.

The good news is that when we feel panic, it is a good signal for us to stop and take an inventory for where we are and where we are going. This is the wisdom of our physiology telling us to make a choice, to put our eyes on our goal.