Habit formation

To form a new habit can be challenging. This requires awareness, persistence, clarity, and stoic.

If you decide to form a new habit, you will need be clear why you want to have it, how to get there, what would be the result of it.

Early stage of starting a new habit can be exciting. You are pumped up and start your new journey.

The hard part is after you practice the habit for a little while, say, a month later. You may enter to a stage of sluggish, or confusion. Because this is where your old habit begins to fight with your new habit.

Your old habit may be stronger and nastier, you may lose your battle if you give up to your old “friend”. Or you can become tougher and clearly know what you want and where you wan to be, so you will head on the challenge, get bruises, sore muscles, and end up with new stronger muscles, therefore new habit.

When you decide to form a new habit, you have made an option to grow new muscles. Be prepared mentally and physically. You will be there.

Emotions are for actions…

When you are emotional, what would do?

Say, when you have various emotional situations: happy, excited, sad, angry, jealous, sympathetic, empathetic, fear… What would you do about them?

When Experiencing an Emotion it is a good signal for you to take action.

Emotions are telling you something about yourself. This is the best time to exam yourself and check what is going on inside and do something about it.

Usually emotions are reflecting either what’s going on is resonating with you or discords with your values and believes.

So, when you are emotional, it is the time to reflect again who are you, what you want?

Emotions are for you to take actions.

The most precious gift

What would be the most precious gift in the world one can give to each other?

What would you give to your significant other? to your children? to your parents? to your best friends?

I ask people about this question and I pay attention to the answers from some of the most successful people in the world. They say the most precious gift they receive or give is time – the time being with others, and the time you give each other.

The time being with others means you are there for real, not for a show.

We live in a hectic world with disruptions all the time. It is a challenge for anyone to be present without distraction.

Being there for someone is precious.

When the people you care need your being there, you are there for them, 100% being there, no divided attention. You are present for them: may be to help them physically, may be to give advice, may be simply being a listener, may be just there to share sometime together, may be there just giving them a big hug…

The time giving each other means you have empathy for others, you have respect for others, you have trust for others.

You give others time to think over about things on their own terms, you give others time to do things on their own pace and journey, because you trust them strong and brave enough to learn and do a good job. This is where tough love comes in.

Children learn how to walk, how to talk with different paces. You can’t walk or talk for them and trust them being able to do these themselves after all.

Time is precious. Give this precious gift wisely.

Self development

Self development is a life long process.

When talking to a 30 year old, she says she and her friends in the same age feel really grown up. They feel they are more confident than the time when they were 20 year old. And they can make money and live independently. They think they are in a very good place.

When talking to a 40 year old, she says she feels she becomes more clear about who she is now, and she is confident and has no fear to do anything. She feels she can conquer the world.

When talking to a 50 year old, she says that now she knows what is more important for her in life. She has courage to say Nos to things do not bringing much value. She has a free soul, does things efficiently and yet considerate. She is energetic, full of life.

One of my best friends in her 60s, she had her biggest promotion at the age of 60 years old. Now she grows her coaching business and running the company in full speed at her age of 66. She is one of the most generous people in my life. She says she does not feel retire any time soon…

people always grow, no matter how old you are.

Self development is a marathon.

When you grow your self, remember:

Stope focusing on gaining the approval of others and starting to improve and develop yourself.

Character is fate

Character is who you are. Your character is your fate.

Many people get lucky, and have success or are rich, because of great parents, certain environment, or by chances.

However, for those are not so rich, not born with glory or favorite surroundings, character decides her fate,

Your success from character is from long term. You will not see immediate result in a short period.

Therefore, you will need stoic, be determined, be persistent. Grit is called on when you face challenges, setbacks. Even when you do not see any light at the end of the tunnel, you need just focus the one small step in front of you – one step at a time.

If it is gold, it will shine after all.

Character is your fate.

Believe in yourself

How much do you believe in yourself now? 60%, 70%, 80 or 90%?

If your boss, or or your colleagues give you negative comments, how much do you believe in yourself?

What about if you just made a huge mistake, or failed to reach your goal?

The tough time calls for your character. It calls for your courage. It calls for your clarity.

You are a whole person – a person who is naturally, creative, resources, and whole.

Therefore, believe in yourself.

A 90:10 rule says: you should dominantly (90 percent) have your own self-acceptance and self-appreciation and only 10 percent from external approval or assigned worth.

Like Lao Tzu said:

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

Believe in yourself majorly.

You will be more creative and you will be happier.

Say too much…

Do you sometimes feel that you’ve said too much?

Then you later on realized you could tune it down a little bit… if you did, you might feel safer for your position at work; you might make a relationship getting better; you might not become the target of controversy… in a word, you might have less hassle and live a quieter life.

Or,

You feel that you have obligation or urge to speak that much… so you can express your opinion; you can live for a free speech life; you may feel you are more yourself – true self. However, you might be living in a spotlight as well.

The choice is yours.

So is the consequence.

When you make the choice, you have to bear the consequence. You are responsible for your action.

Yesterday

Yesterday was the best day in your life.

Yesterday was the most successful day in your life.

What you have from yesterday can bring you sweet memory, can expend your experience, can give you strength to be successful again in future.

But,

Yesterday’s greatness will not guarantee tomorrow’s glory. What got you here will not bring there.

Just like yesterday’s sunshine will not dry today’s wet cloth. Yesterday is gone forever.

You have to get up and step forward continuously, no matter what happens. You have to restart your new day, every day, with a sunshine mindset.

Treasure yesterday, Embrace today, walk strongly towards to tomorrow.

A leader with curiosity

One of the attributes a leader should have is curiosity.

What does it mean for a leader to have curiosity?

It means that a leader should have consultative skills when she leads. She learns about her teams by asking good questions to clarify situations, provoke thoughts, engage with employees, and show empathy…

In addition, a leader with curiosity is a leadership with growth mind. A growth mindset is the essential attribute to be a good leader, an effective leader and successful leader.

Change others, Serve others

We want to have influence, to be impactful.

What is the key element to do so?

It’s not power, not authority, not loud voice, not force…

It’s your ability to serve others.

Only when you are able to serve others, you can connect with them and get trust from them.

Serve others mean you know what they need, what they want, and you are capable to provide these to them. Therefore, they listen to you.

Sometimes they don’t know what they want. It’s your responsibility to let them realize or see what they want and provide these to them.

These places are where your leadership shows. Where you serve others that you make your impact.