Keep clam and strong in a dynamic world

We are living in a very dynamic world in many folds. One particular case is the spin caused by coronavirus originated from Wuhan, China,

Many people died because the infections and complications caused by coronavirus. The situation has become so sever that people in Wuhan are under quarantine, different places identified with positive infections worldwide are under quarantine… anyone comes from China needs to be quarantined fro two weeks before she can go out…

What are consequences of all these?

  • People in China are delayed to go to work, or work from home.
  • Universities, all schools are turning into online educations.
  • International companies manufacture products, parts or raw materials in China are not in their capacity for the planned production goals.
  • TXS had deep dive yesterday (biggest in ten years) because of the fear of spreading of coronavirus.
  • International supply chains are disrupted due to the quarantines in China.
  • Individuals in China have limited activities to have real time face to fact interactions, or even outdoor activities…
  • Some People outside of China become racists towards Chinese…

What a world are we living in?

We are living in an close connected world, fluid world, and vulnerable world.

The world becomes smaller, because we all interconnected. Any changes in one country will impact the activities in other countries.

The whole world is like a family. Any changes from a family member will cause others members to do something new or additional. Therefore, other members are changing too.

Changing is infectious. Changing is infinite.

A true calling for an individual is to be true to oneself, know who you are, what you want, whom do you want to become, and whom do you want to know…

When we know or seek to know who we are with an open mind, we are on the road for self liberation, freedoms. We accept changes, we adapt to changes, we make changes. Then we evolve.

The adaptability is the strongest skill. That’s why coronavirus can survive and caused so many death. We need adapt our capability to out-survive coronavirus, and we can, and we are.

No need for panic.

No need for complain.

We are strong. We have things to do.

We focus. We agile. We triumph.

Success is to do the best with what you have

SRAS-like virus originated from Wuhan is spreading in China now. As it’s the Spring Festival holiday season, most of the people in China are on holidays.

To control the spreading of the virus, everyone is encouraged to stay home, as public transportation has been cancelled in some of the cities.

I am visiting my parents in China and get home-bound because of the virus situation.

After four days, I started felt a little bit restless. And so are my parents.

What can I do to make my time with them more enjoyable?

We played some games. Then we started to chat… somehow I wanted to learn more about my parents, especially about my dad. This is because my mom said the other day that my dad has secrets. My mom learned one secret about my dad last year after they have been married for 57 years!

She thinks my dad has more secrets.

This certainly draws my attention. I became very curious and my dad is happy to share with me about his past.

I chatted with my dad this morning about his past: how did he change his jobs, what did he do for each position, what were the biggest challenges, how did he handle his challenges, what are his views on the Chinese history, and what is his believe, how did he deal with people having different capabilities…

I learned so much about my dad in a couple of hours than the last 30 years!

My dad never thought about how to be more successful in his whole life. He was assigned or appointed for each position by his organizations. However, for every single position he had, he always strived to do his best.

He had technology education. But he was appointed to be a young leader to do social management work because of his capabilities.

He had to learn everything from the scratch when he began to do the job – as we currently called public relations. He has innate talent for building up network and relationships. He worked hard to teach himself in theory and then taught others.

For each position he had, he was grounded to do his job with focus, with his principles and believes.

These are his secrets for success. And he is a successful man, respected by many.

Some secrets he told me are that he payed attention to his environment: what was the primary focus, what is more important, use storytelling to influence people.

My dad is a good story teller. He is very proud that he never asked others to write his speeches.

I told my parents that we should learn these stories about my dad years ago. They say, well, may be now is the better time because you appreciate them more.

I do appreciate these stories about my dad. I am very appreciative that I have such a wise, smart, diligent, kind and soft heart dad.

If I can summarize the biggest secret for my dad’s success, it is:

Do the best with what you have.

Do more essentials every day

Today someone asked me what are the 90 – 95% of my essentials in life? In another word, what are the 90-95% most important things in my life?

I as stumbled for a while before I can get some items out on a piece of paper.

He asked me another question, “What are the 5-10% nonessentials in your life?”

This took me a few minutes to get the answer.

These two questions are insightful.

By writing down the essentials and nonessentials, I have realized that I really need take time to recheck these periodically.

The most important things in my life are my essentials. How much attention and energy have I given to them? Do I also use 90-95% of my time and focus on them? How do I improve?

Realizing those nonessentials has made me realized that I have used too much of my time on them, way above 5-10% of my focus. I will need cut down my attention for those nonessentials.

Action for you:

  • Check your essentials and nonessentials in your life
  • Check how much time and energy you spent on each category
  • Put your 90-95% of your effort on your essentials and 5-10% of your effort on nonessentials
  • Come up with a action plan: what one thing can you do each day to increase your attention to your essentials by 1%? How long will you get to the point that you spend 90-95% of your energy on essentials?

By follow this action plan, I will invite you with me to begin the New Year – the New Century’s journey together!

What is chasing you?

We are in a very dynamic and turbulent world now. Things are constantly come and thrown to us.

How can we find a peace of mind, keep focusing on our priority and do things confidently and efficiently?

What I found that works for me is to keep asking three questions:

  1. Where do I want to go?
  2. What is chasing you?
  3. What future do I want to create?

First, “where do I want to go” gives me the sense of direction. This includes the goals I want to achieve, milestones to reach etc.

I need to be clear on this and align me actions to the goal every day. This goal is my filter of doing my work or living my life.

Second, “what is chasing you” let’s me having an internal dialogue with myself. Why I feel the way I’m feeling now? What makes me feel this way?

When I was in elementary grade one, I was chosen to be in a musical band. The musical teacher said I have the natural figures for Erhu (one Chinese music instrument), therefore I should be in the band.

Being in the band means I had to go practice after school. I hated. I began to escape the practice. Many times later, my band teacher went to my home talking to my parents about it.

I felt the shame of escaping the band and became very sensitive to criticizes and rejections at work.

Only after many years at work, I realized how the childhood experience had been chasing me for what I did and how I behaved in the past.

Now I have become much better in handing rejections and critiques. But the childhood experience had chased me many many years.

After recognizing my “trauma” and it’s impact on me, I have becoming more conscious my emotional experience and not let it being on my way.

Third, “what future do I want to create” has huge impact on my life. This is the light house of our journey.

If you can picture what do you want to create for you, you can live the future in your NOW. This is a very powerful initiative for me. It is the reason why I get up every morning from the bed and pumped up.

Summary:

These three powerful questions can change your life. And they can create a sense of self peacefully and happily do what your calling requires you to do.

Ask yourself the three questions and put your answers into action. I hope you can stand tall and still in this chaotic world.

Use your “placebo” to show your confidence

I found that if I jotted down a few lines I need to say for a meeting beforehand, these lines serve me very well.

I could forget some details. But these lines are my lighthouse directing me to navigate during the meeting. I could regain my confidence with those lines. They also serve me as my placebo and back born for my confidence during those occasions.

Similarly, I can give myself some prep-talk when I am not sure what I can do and how do I act during other occasions. This kind of talk backs me up, serve me as my placebo many times over.

You can be as good as your placebo.

Dr. Joe Dispenza said, “You are the placebo: mind matters”. He has documented many cases for patients who believe placebo effect have reversed their illness and sickness.

We can psychic our mind and prepare our mentality, for good or for bad.

With all the placebo effect, why not you choose the one good for you?

Because when we lack confidence, we are suffering. We are stressed. We do silly things and regret. We make our family and friends worried as well.

We get to set our intention, our placebo, our mind to make us feel confident. So that we can be our good, better and best self.

Here are a few steps you can start:

  1. Make a collection of your positive peak moments
  2. When you feel the little monkey in your belly drumming up and down, find a quite place and take a few deep breath
  3. Create your placebo
  4. Use your placebo freely when you need it

The more courageous you are, the longer you can go

I have some successful friends. Quite a number of them have changed their career a few times, say five to seven times.

When I asked them what have made them to switch from one industry to another industry, or one field to another field, their answers including: freedom, intuition, following my heart…

None of them has mentioned that courage is the one that leads them to their success.

However, for every step of their way, for each career change during their journey, the courage is all over place.

  • They are brave to take a less travelled road – most of them have studied or worked overseas, not even thinking of the language and cultural challenges during this journey.
  • They are brave to change to a new field to learn from others, to try new things and take initiatives, not even thinking of the challenges of integration with new team, new boss, new culture and new politics.
  • They are brave to change their identities for any new jobs they do. They don’t want the past to define who they are. They build their new characters, they keep growing , discover their potentials and express them physically and vocally.

I am grateful to know and have this kind of friends in my life. They enrich my life. They make my life feel meaningful

All successful people have one common trait – they are courageous.

The more courageous you are, the more experience you can gain, the closer you become to your goals, the longer you can go on the road of your career.

Your success and your long career can be measured by the degree of your courage.

So I will challenge you:

  • if you want to one courageous thing today, what could it be?
  • If you will go off your comfort zone, what will you do?

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Another area of courage is about decision making.

When you decide to do something, what makes you to do so? Did you hear you are telling yourself to do so because you want to it, or you should do it, or something else?

When your vulnerabilities are exposed to the public, how do you take your next step? Will you make your steps based on your will, your should, or your could?

Successful people do things by telling or feeling themselves to get to do, will do. When “should” comes up, they will sit down and analyze where the should comes from.

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In Summary:

Courage is a choice.

Successful people choose to be courageous.

Courageous means you get to meet all challenges and joy all the way. Courageous means that you make your own decisions and own them

The more courageous you are, the longer you can go on your career.

1% better towards to your confidence

English is my second language.

I think my English is good. Yet I am not confident from time to time, especially when some native speakers do not understand what I say.

Today I was chatting with a few friends. When I mentioned there is trivia night in town, they could not understand what I said till I explained and said it the second time.

The problem was my pronunciation with the word trivia. I pronounced “i” in trivia like “ai” in like. That is confusing for them.

However, I don’t feel awkward to chat with them again no matter I make mistakes or not, because they are my friends I feel safe. And this helps me to improve my oral English

My confidence of speaking English shows through 1% better or a tiny bit progress. And this rule applies to my many areas of life.

My goal is to make a little bit progress – 1% better today than yesterday. I believe this tiny little step will compound over time. I will reach my milestones over time.

Successful people are not becoming success over night. Their success come though many hours of dedicated work and creativity.

10,000 hours of work can lead people to become an expert in one area. And every little tiny step adds up to 10,000 hours will turn you, me into a new person with more skills, experienced person.

We will discover our confidence, express the internal confidence through small steps.

1% better is the way to go.

Confidence is a choice

One of my friends Ying, who is a coach now, has made seven transitions in her career. She was a consultant, a finical analyst, a startup entrepreneur, a business partner, a freelancer, a general manager. In 2018, she chose to become an executive coach.

When people asked her, were you scared to switch from one industry to another industry? Why you are so confident to move from one career to another?

Ying said, “I look back. What I see is someone pursuing her passion, following her heart, finding meanings in her life. She makes choices that give her energy, give her meaning and get her out of the bed everyday.”

Does this mean Ying’s life has been smooth? It is nothing like that.

Ying has many sleepless nights. And those nights also gave her many rewards to learn, to experience and to grow.

All those years of life experience has made who she is today.

Ying had times when she was intimidated by unknown, by the exposure of her vulnerabilities.

How did she handle these down times?

Ying told me during those periods that she bites her teeth tightly and asked herself to make one small step or one thing each day to make herself feel good about herself. She limited her thinking to make a small progress each day and focused on small wins each day. Surprisingly after a few days she saw improvement.

These began her cycles of upward spiral structural psychology. Whenever she has the churning stomach feeling, she asks herself quietly to go back to the spiral structure. And this has been her secret weapon and source of her confidence.

Confidence is an option we can choose to have.

Confidence is to face our vulnerability, admit, learn from others and move forward.

We are born with confidence. Confidence is us. Confidence is our potential. We have unlimited confidence in us. It’s matter of choice for us to be confident.

In the middle of the road

When you are in the middle of your long march, or long run, what is going on in your mind?

When you are in the middle of your challenge and tough project, how do you feel?

When you start your New Year’s plans many times, what is happening with you in the middle of the year?

We all feel the struggles, the tough challenges we face in the middle of our destinations. The middle road is the period that tests our endurance and grit.

I remember my grandma told me that donkeys are bland-folded when they are milling rice or wheat to prevent them distracted and to increase their focus working.

Sometimes, we need “blindfold” ourselves not to be distracted by social network etc. This is especially important when we are in the middle of the road.

We need focus.

We need endurance.

We need hanging on there a little bit more, a little bit more…

Do you remember that when you workout hard in the gym, your muscles are aching, you are sweating, you body is shaking…

Then you come back to the gym again, again, day after day.

Days turn into months, then years.

You get a good body, a good health and good spirit.

If you have stopped after three days, you will not make a big change to your body, mind and your spirit for long run.

Your reputation creates your habits. Your habits create You over time.

When you have a goal in mind. It calls your determination. It calls your tough mindset. The most important thing is that it calls you to create your New habits.

To create your New habits, you need have a new imagine in mind. And then work towards to the imagine until you become it.

You are I the middle of the road, look the imagine you have had in mind, walk towards it without distraction, one step at a time, one day a time, 1% better a time, you will get through it.

Forget your personality test result now

You are ambitious and want to move forward with your career.

You want to know yourself better, what kind of person you are. You take personality test. The test result states what kind of person you are from different aspects.

Many people trust their personality test results and believe that who they are. Therefore they follow that person described from the test to do things, communicate with others and live their lives.

Now, I want you to forget your personality test result.

I want you find a quiet moment and ask the internal you: what do you want in 2020? What makes you excited? What makes you getting up from the bed every day? What keeps you going even when you feel like quitting? What are the drives?

What do you see yourself look like that gives you joy in 2020?

What do you wear that makes you feel energized in 2020?

Whom are you with that makes you feel inspired in 2020?

Where will you be in 2020 that makes you feel at home?

Put all your answers together you will create a new you. A new you with different personality in 2020 will have a new identity, therefore a new personality.

Researchers have shown that every ten years you can change into a totally different person. Your personality will shift different in six months. It could be sooner if there is dramatic changes occurred to your life, such as sudden life change, job change, live environment changes etc.

Your personality is a moving target.

You don’t need to stick with your current personality. You can create a new personality. You are in charge of your identity.

So the action is:

1) answer all the questions above.

2) create a new identity for yourself for 2020.

3) make a daily practice to create a new you!

All the best for 2020!