Car parking

I live in a big city in China. There are cars everywhere.

Sometimes cars park behind or in the front of a parking lot in my community. They make the cars in the parking lot impossible to get out. If your car is among the parked cars, you have three options in the situation:

Call the driver to move his car if he leaves a phone number on his dashboard.
Call the office to report the car parking “illegally”.
Wait for unknowing time for the driver coming back to move his car.

If you are going to work, meeting others, or shopping by car, you can see that only the first option can possibly solve your problem quickly.

It is the driver’s consideration makes the difference. Leaving a contact phone number is a kind consideration for inconvenience. And it is not difficult to do. It shows your humility.

We need more kind, considerate people to live a more civilized community.

One’s edge

I learned from a girlfriend of mine that she came back from a team building day. One of her male colleagues surprised many people by acting as a car sales girl wearing bikini top.

The context is that her company is situated in a secondary city in China. She like many of her colleagues think this male fellow is a quiet, shy, introverted person.

There are other occasions that are beyond our expectation, especially about other people’s dos and don’ts.

What are the possible reasons for these?

We are biased? People are capable more than we expected? We have mentally set up boarders, limitations for others?

These are all possible.

We do not know our limitations, edges till we face challenges.

One’s edge can be extended facing difficulties, challenges.

Every challenge we conquered expand our comfortable zone. Therefore, we create new edge.

Until next circle of challenge we may live in our comfortable zone.

If you break your edge constantly, grow your space, you will have more break free area.

Live on edge.

Thinking makes all the difference

I gave a presentation to an international group today.

I felt terrible after the presentation. Because I prepared in English and I realized I needed to give it in Chinese.

I was struggling in find the suitable Chinese phrases during my talk and felt I was not best of myself…

When the event was over, we had business matchmaking session. I found people talking to me with curiosity and respect. I did not find any trace of blaming me not doing a good job for my presentation. I actually had great time to making connections with attendees.

What a relieve!

This sounds familiar?

There is no things so bad or so wrong in our lives. It is the thinking makes so.

Growing is painful

The best memory very often is the one we had setback, difficulty, failure, or hurt.

And it is also during these periods that we grow in a hurry – when you look back in a ten years of time.

I invited an old friend to give a presentation about his research to my teams. He not only gave us his research, but also his philosophy on how to live your best life.

He said that money is not the most important thing in one’s life. It’s the freedom to do what you love to do and a good health you have. He got this conclusion after his ten years of struggle and learning.

We sometimes go a long way to move forward for a short distance. However, that the price we need to pay. That is the pain we need to experience.

Growing is painful, yet it is a journey no one can replace for you. And the reward is huge.

Recovery of your elasticity

The shelf life of an elastic band can be extended if you let it bounced back to its original shape, and relaxed.

If you want to make your career sustainable, you need make time for self recovery. Such as, take a vocation, a nap, a walk, or watch a movie, read a book… whatever that suits your style.

Only when you intentionally make self balance a priority, you can recover your elasticity quicker, you will have more moments of happiness, you will be more energetic.

Be aware of the time for self recovery. The last resort is that you have to rest because of illness.

Find the best way for your recovery early is a skill. You can get skillful quickly be practicing it.

Recovery of your elasticity, recovery of your longevity of happiness.

No super you

You have a Ph.D degree. You have a MBA degree.

Obviously, you have mastered more knowledge in many ways. You may be assigned to an important position: profession, director. You are the boss to many people.

You give directions, you help other’s to do better at work. You may boss around others.

However,

You are only as good as your team.

You are not a super person to do everything, to be everything. You success are depending on your team’s success.

Build up a better team, this is where you need to put your energy and effort on.

Sensible is glue

You are not happy about colleague A who bad mouthed you behind your back.

When you talked to colleague B, you almost mentioned how terrible A was… suddenly you realize if you do this, you are no difference from A. You know that gossips at work are killers for trust, killers for productivity.

You are a sensible person.

We need more sensible people at work to build better relationships.

Sensible in action is reflection of professionalism.

Sensible is glue at work, at home and among friends.

To live is to thrive

If a patient’s cardiographs showing a straight line, we are facing a big problem. She may die if we don’t do something to make her beat again.

If her cardiographs showing waves of ups and downs, we feel good. We know our patient is alive and her heart is thriving.

To live is to thrive.

We seek opportunities, we pursue happiness, we learn new skills, we travel to find meanings in our lives.

We go through difficulty and happy times. We live our lives.

If we feel bored, feel nothing to do, feel don’t want to anything, we get a big problem.

When I had this feeling came to me, I pinched myself to check if I was still feeling anything. I did bizarre things to myself just to feel my existence.

All of our effort is to get satisfied with us, with our environment and feel alive.

Each of us is looking for a path back to the present: We are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied now.

With this realization, how are you going to pay attention to the present moment?

Find those making your current moment a quality one. Find those making you thrive. Find those sparking in your life and find a way how to get more of those thriving moments in your life.

Life is yours to live.

Realize your vulnerability

You have all the passion and energy and dedication to make this project work. You work 12-16 hours a day for nine months…

One day, you suddenly broke down by just one loudly No from your colleague, your teammate. He said No to you when you demanded his action, and he commented that you are not capable of doing what you do in front of your team – 20 colleagues.

“How could he do this to me? He is supposed to be my loyal workmate.” You felt lost face, like an imposter, and felt humiliated by wrongful comments…

You wanted to know why.

After many conversations, dialogues, and a few sleepless weeks, you learned that it’s the fear of change brought your colleague’s rebel. It got little to do with you.

However, by being wrongly accused it somewhat made you feel that you no longer need to pretend to know everything any more. The ego you had is disappearing. You feel much more breathable, more freedom coming to your way.

You break free.

You don’t need to pretend to be something you are not.

You don’t need to live other’s life, begin to live truly.

You don’t need to worry making mistakes.

You have stretched and grown more.

Vulnerability makes you stronger, braver, more present.

Sh*t happens

You walk on the road with good mood. And you step on a pile of sh*t by accident.

What would be your reaction?

Will you curse the sh*t? Will you blame your bad luck? Will you be going mad about it?

You probably say No to all the questions. It’s just a pile of lifeless sh*i after all.

What about something unpleasant and dirty staff happened to you at work?

Well, sh*i happens!

Laugh at it, forget it, and move on.

You have so much fun in life than a pile of sh*t.