Happy everyday…

I have a long time mentee asked me, “How can we keep a happy life on a daily basis?”

Obviously this question has bothered her for a long while.

I don’t have answer for her.

To me, I would ask me a different question, “How can I keep feeling content each day?”

“Happy” is a good word. Feel happy is a good feeling. But your happiness is different from mine. Therefore, happy is a vague word to measure our daily life.

However, when we talk about content, we have something in common. We all pursue satisfaction, growth, safety and security, love…

We pursue a career that can fulfill our ambition. We want to have a partner loves us, understands us and supports us. We want to have steady income for our living security. We want to have an environment that provides us safety and life quality.

To keep us feeling content is a mentality. A mentality that lets us feel we are alive, not bored.

We are exited when we are dating, when we get a new job or a promotion, when we move to a new place, when we meet new friends… We sometimes call these happy time – peak moments.

And you can’t have these moment s all the time, very often.

So the big challenge is how to keep content after the peak moments?

Habit expert James Clear asked one of his coaches about what makes the top performers different from the rest of us. The coach said genetics, luck, talent, and added that at some point, it comes down to who can handle the boredom of doing the same thing over and over and over…

Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated. However, it’s ability to keep going when work isn’t exciting that makes the difference. And this may not make you happy, it may let you feel content for what you do.

This is the dividing line between a professional and an amateur.

Happy every day may not be your goal. Happiness is a consequence of your being after your doing.

You do not need build up your confidence

To have confidence is a good feeling. To be confident you may need go through a tough journey and do some hard-work.

When I was recruited as an executive to a company I knew little, I took the chance. I remember that I was commented as an fit leader because I came from a different industry and I was not an expert for the industrial content matter not very long into my role.

I sure felt like my stomach punched at that time. I feel I had the moment of the emperor from the Emperor’s New Cloth. I was naked, totally exposed and vulnerable.

However, I also felt the relieve that I do not to pretend I knew everything. I can felt that my ego was run away hiding some where.

So I openly acknowledged that and asked their help to build a stronger company together. It took a while to build trust and bonding with my former colleagues. But the experience has strengthened my confidence through vulnerability.

To build up your confidence is actually a wrong statement.

Everyone has the confidence.

What keeps us from doing the things we want to do, we get to do, we love to do is our willingness to put us out there, to experience our vulnerable moments, to be human.

As human, we all make mistakes, do silly things from time to time. It is our sympathy towards to ourself set us free. We give ourself second, third, fourth… chance to do things right. We learn from our experience. This is how confidence is progressing.

Confidence is a journey you take.

Confidence is a choice you make.

You have confidence in you when you were born. It waits there for you to discover it and re-discover it all the time. Confidence is your life long companion.

I have issues with adjustment…

I am very good at adjustment, so as I felt about myself for sure one month ago.

I have moved biggly several times in my life. I say biggly, it’s because I moved from one city to another city, one country to another country, one continent to another continent, one region of the world to another region of the world… I love meeting new people, new world and gaining new experiences.

During as these moves, I have adjusted myself fairly well. These because it has been me making all the choices to move around. I have been on the driver seat. Even though I have faced many challenges for each movement, I have been super excited to embrace each movement. I attribute these as I am good at adjustment for a new environment.

What if I have to move to another city, another country, or another continent, and it is Not my choice? What if I have to move, to leave, and I have to accept it?

This happened to me one month ago. I was bought out by the company.

This is the life.

Life happens while I am busy to make other plans.

This time I was not the driver. This time I moved to another continent, another country, which is a one I used to live, it is a one I was familiar with seven years ago, it is a one many many people hope if they can pay a visit in their dreams.

I was not in a good mood to do a good adjustment this time for two weeks!

I stopped doing everything I usually was doing from that point on, including my daily blogging.

This is not me.

I am someone who is agile, mature, and resilient… so I have been reminded by my family and friends, my loyal supporters in my life.

I became feeling better in week three.

I became more sensible in week four.

I actually moved forward in week five. I physically moved out the country and back to “civilization”.

When the first astronaut landed on moon, we know his one step on moon means a giant leap in human history.

Somehow I feel that my one step move from continent to another means a giant leap for my life. I am free. I am in good hands. Sounds contradicting… yet I feel this way.

Today I appreciate that I feel content. I appreciate that I am back to one of the best parts of the world. I appreciate that my family has been with me on every step along the road. I appreciate that I can access the abundant resources easily. I appreciate that I have likeminded people around me. I appreciate that I have clean air to breath, clean water to drink, nice gym to work out…

I am grateful for where I am today.

But, I am not sure I can call this is a good adjustment as comparing many moves and adjustments I’ve done in my life. Because this time is different from any other moves I made. This move is not a typical moves for me.

I bet many people have had dramatic changes happened to their lives as well. These may not involve physical moves for one country to another country. However, big changes in anyone’s life are challenging.

Take a moment and make an inventory for what you have in your life when big changes happen in your life.

Think what you can appreciate at this moment.

You can make a whole lot difference for your life and the life people around you.

Life is beautiful. It has all flavors: sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, salty. Enjoy them fully.

set yourself free

When people say you are not qualified doing what you are doing, which is what you love to do, what would be you reaction?

Do you wonder if you have done things right? Do you doubt about what you do?

I had those moments of doubting and worrying. It felt awful. I felt not myself. I could not direct me to focus on other more important things for a while.

Then,

Some one said to me: “your life’s quality is decided by your courage, not by your fear.” We only have one life, live it without regret, live it fully.

I took one step to live for myself by redirecting to the question to myself: is this what I want?

By asking this question, I can feel my body’s reaction. If it feels free, feels specious, feels growing, then I will go for it. And it sets me free, I am a happy person.

Believe in yourself.

Set yourself free.

Live your happy life.

Sing a song

You sing songs.

Songs have high, low, plat notes, and pauses. The combinations of these elements make a song so beautiful, so touching, so memorable…

our life just like a song.

Success, failure, struggles in between, happiness, sadness, boring… all of these are notes in your music.

Even when we feel our life is on hold, it is just like a pause in a song.

They all will come and pass.

And the combination of all of the moments in your life creates the songs in your life. It is your choice how to make each song in your life. It is your decision how to sing each song.

Signs of change

Autumn arrives.

She signals us she is here by changing tree leaves’ colors and blowing cool air. She sheds tree leaves by telling us her progress of changes.

What are your signals when you are making progress and changes?

Do you notice what is going on in your mind? How do you talk to others? Do you do anything differently from before?

Do you intentionally change your habit and do something new?

Serendipity does not happen randomly. It is a sign of change. It is the place where prepared mind meets the opportunity, it is the place where she signals that change is coming.

Ups and downs

We have ups and downs in life. This is normal. And these ups and downs are temporary.

Even though when we are at the down turn, it feels painful, like forever, and this all will pass.

It is key for us to keep leveled during these turns and waves. We need to live our life. If we look forward down the road in five, ten years of time, we know the down turns should be all passed and over by then.

The difficulty is to keep looking forward without being buried in the setbacks. To keep a promising mind, a positive altitude, and curiosity towards to life,

Difficulties, setbacks and shall be passed. They are temporary.

A success is temporary, just like failure.

Our life is forever, as long as we live.

Enjoy both ups and downs.

In a Daze…

You sometimes are in a daze. I am too.

I used to feel guilty of doing nothing, just in a daze…

Then I find that in a daze actually can help me to relax, expand myself in a way, because after a daze I usually feel more energized and easy to handle more things.

We also need sometime to take a break, in a daze a bit to reflect, gain self consciousness, stretch our space.

When we have more space, we can breath more easily, calm and happier.

Life needs us to be in a daze a bit from time to time.

Preparation for life

A friend has concerns regarding a meeting she is invited for next week.

The meeting will be with her biggest boss and HR head. She tried to ask the secretary, but she does not know either. This seems unusual.

My friend gets a little bit worried, confused, uncertainty and somewhat stressed…

How many other things can make you feel the same way in life?

There are many things in life happening without your full knowledge. We face surprises all the time.

It’s up to you on how to interpret what is coming to your way.

It is up to you on how to prepare yourself for any uncertainty.

It is up to you on make a choice whether you need worry about those uncertainty or not.

You will never prepare enough for anything happening in life. However, you can prepare yourself to have an open mind to embrace everything showing up in your life, whether you like them or not.

Be strong.

Be brave.

Be yourself.

Love life.

You will be okay.

Take Preventive measures

You are sick. You go to doctor for treatment.

Disaster happens, you take measures to make up the damages.

There is a better way to go through treatment for illness or take a setback to reduce damages.

This is to take preventive measures.

For your health, you don’t want to depend on medicines and surgeries to get yourself healthier. You need put your physical well being as one of your daily priorities. Take time to exercise. Take time for mental recharge. Take time for mind renewals.

To reduce any potential disasters, you need to do your homework, build up your foundations, stock necessary knowledges or skills or financial supports before hand. Only then, you will have foods to eat when you are stuck in a cell. You can work for something else when your company is shut down.

Prevention gives you more freedoms, less harm, healthier life style.

Take preventive measures. It’s never too late.