Work with people you dislike

No matter what you do, or you don’t do, you always have something or someone you dislike. This is life.

What are you going to do with someone you dislike or may hate at work? This person may be your boss, colleague, or collaborator… How can you make your life livable or for better?

One way to make things better for you is to shift your thinking.

Think at least two things you can learn from the person. Use this person as your best teacher in the world, learn what you do not want to do as a leader, as a team player, as a generous human being.

By thinking this way, you will gain at least two advantages: 1) you learn to be a better person. 2) you gain empathy. And you probably also become less angry, more happy, and more appreciative of your life.

Give the way…

What is the role being a leader?

Lead people, you may say.

I agree with you on this.

What is the important role being a leader?

This question gets many different answers.

I would argue that the import role of being a leader is to give the way to others.

Being a leader is to remember that everyone has potentials, talent, and capabilities. Our role as a leader is to pave the way for others to strive for their best, and trust them on their way to get there.

Being a leader is to get out of our own story, be open, give others’ space to grow.

Being a leader is to give the way to others, let them speed it up on their own pace.

Chinese proverb says: Three stooges are better than Zhuge Liang. Which means collective wisdom wins.

As a leader, it is how to maximize the collective wisdom and let them be the energy force for your organization and team.

Give the way and lead the way alternatively.

I would say give the way most of the time, serve others. Leader is not necessarily the star; the team or the organization is the star. I am always grateful and proud of my team for their initiatives, talents and collective spirit.

Give the way and serve the team are the essence of a leader.

Showing up

We make promises. We make plans. We want to make a difference.

All of these requires that you show up.

You show up for your promises, for your plans and for making changes.

Someone said: success is 90% showing up + 10% effort.

I am not totally sure that is the exactly number or percentage for everyone. But it certainly tells the truth – success needs constant working towards your goals, your intentions and making an effort.

You need showing up when you don’t feel like so, when you are exhausted, when you encounter failures, when you feel you are not ready…

Whether you are ready or not, step up, show up, and go, go, go!

Do you follow rules to live your life?

Many of us live life by defaults – follow norms, rules surrounded us.

We do what our parents tell us to do.
We do these because we are told by our teachers to do so.
We do these because of our peers do.
We do these because of our society says so.

If we break rules, we are criticized; are punished; are not accepted.

Then how do you move forward by certain rules that are not applicable to you?

Someone said:

“If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them.”

Check if you follow rules that do not apply to you. If you do have those rules, break them, or ignore them.

Move on with your life.

Service mind and generosity

Being successful has been over emphasized. It has been mistaken as the self achievement to a large degree. It has been labeled as being rich or famous, or even being interpreted as permanent.

Success like everything in life is impermanent.

Those got you success will not guarantee your success once you move to a new role. As we all know: those got you here will not bring you there.

However, there is one permanent element that can bring you joy and fulfillment to your life. This element is being generous.

When you give your generosity by being show up and being empathetic to serve others, you live your real self. You are successful in your own way.

Being generous requires courage, especially when you do not feel doing so. When you are wrongly accused; when you are set up for failure; when you are tired; when your vulnerability is exposed… these are the occasions calling for your leadership and requiring your courage.

Also during these tough occasions you need to come back to your sense of self. You need raise your awareness by meditation, reflection and getting your self together. You know deep down to the heart that you want to do more, express more, serve more. You might just need a break, a quiet place, a hug to your self, a talk to your self.

Then make time and space to do these.

Recharge yourself.

Let your service mind comes back to you.

Practice, practice, practice…

It is never enough to emphasize the importance of practice, no matter what you do.

A knife left for no use for a long long time becomes rusty.

A speech contest Champion did not give speech for a long long time becomes rusty.

You become rusty speaking Chinese because you haven’t used for a long long time…

Don’t take granted for the skills you have. Practice more before you use it again. Practice makes perfect.

Imposter-ish…

What does it tell you when you feel you are an imposter?

My friends told me they feel their imposter-ish moments or situations:

When they are promoted to a higher position;
When they have multiple roles to play, the situations where they play more glamours role;
When they are called to be sitting at the boss’ table;
When they are praised by their boss…

Any of these examples has showed the fear in us. We want to hide, but we are on the spot, no where to hide.

We are afraid of exposure of our vulnerability.

What it takes is courage – the courage to dare greatly.

Why not allow us breaking our own rules, our small talks, and our shell. Do something you never have done before. Release your energy, break free, and dare greatly!

Scarcity

When I was little my parents alway told me to save candies or changes aside for future, a raining day, or another occasion. That may be one of the reasons I have developed some sort of scarcity mentality.

I save my best clothes for another important occasion. I save part of my energy for another day. I save some of my ideas to use in future… you get the idea – the mentality of scarcity has spilled over to my daily life and work.

When we live present, we give it all. We allow us to have free flow and totally immerse in the present moment. With abundance in mind, we can achieve the freedom we want.

There is no scarcity to find something you love for a living. There is only scarcity to resolve to find a way how to do it.

Serve others

I volunteer for two days as a judge for National speech and debate tournament for elementary to high school students.

Being a judge is a quite demanding job, taking all my weekends away. However, the speeches, statements and rebuttals given by contestants are wonderful and powerful stimulants. They keep me inspired, moved me and keep me smile and also in deep thought… what a ride!

Reciprocity is the word came to me. I am awarded handsomely.