Three things can improve your relationship with your colleagues

We are in a company, in a social community. Our relationship with our colleagues is important for our success, happiness and productivity at work.

There are three things you can do to improve your relationship with your colleagues.

1. Be mindful with your words. Many of us are not aware that some words we say are rude or are perceived as rude by others. This means that we have blind spot in our self-insights. We need learn to listen to ourself – what does it sound like when we replay back to ourself. We need be empathetic to others and think in other’s shoes to increase our mindfulness and improve our communication.

2. Be careful on commenting on other’s appearance. At work, it can be awkward toco me t on other’s appearance, especially when someone is sensitive to their appearance. If you want to have a small talk to warm up with others, pick up something neutral.

3. Give positive comments generously. We tend to save our positive comments and think they know your intention. We need to let others know they do a good job. Positive enforcement is an effective way to boost your relationship with them and also their continuing positive behavior. Give positive comments generously also reduce stress for the working environment. As a leader, the positive comments you give also increase the engagement.

Use the three tips for better communication, therefore you will have a better team and a better environment.

Creativity in your life

Creativity is not an abstract word, not a big word, not a dream.

A life with creativity is a life all about changes – you move forward, take chances, explore new frontiers.

The real risk in life is that you do not change.

To thrive in life, you can test all your dreams, your crazy plans, and be yourself.

There are always opportunities if you have tried enough. Each trial, wether is a success or small or big bump, brings you closer to your target. If you fall, you still fall forward, at least you have moved forward a body length.

Fall your calling down in your heart that keeps coming back hunting you to do something about it. Keep doing, keep trying, keep moving, these will break you free, open new territories, new exploration, and new you.

Therefore, you create a new life.

Creation is the blood stream of your life. It excite you, attract you, bring oxygen to your life.

Be ambitious. Be bold. Go big.

Don’t close your show.

Keep doing, keep creating.

Be vulnerable and brave

When we live in our dream, not dream our dream, we experience ups and downs in life.

We may be failed. We may hit to a wall. We may get hurt.

However, these are all part of the plan for you to grow stronger, get better, and bigger.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again… who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Make assertions

When you want to make a change, to influence someone, or to make a difference, you get to make an assertion.

An assertion is something that you believe is true. But you need to test it to confirm it.

You assertion may be like this – ” No matter how educated, talent, rich, or cool you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all. Integrity is everything.”

With this assertion, you may need to test:

What is the definition of integrity?

What would happen for the highly educated, rich or cool people who don’t have integrity?

What does a person having integrity behave?

Why integrity is everything?

If someone is challenging your assertion, what would be your alternative answer? How will you test it?

You see, through this thinking and testing process, you can get clarity, make progress, and get better on going everything!

Make assertions for your work, for your life, for everything you do, and test them. This is how we make small changes. Little by little, you can make a difference.

Fact and truth

We hear people making a firm statement based on facts – what they saw, what has happened. And they claim the statement is the truth, because it’s based on facts.

However, fact is not equal truth.

As a leader, you can’t make a decision just based on fact. You need to know the truth.

Finding the truth takes effort, needs empathy, needs to create a safe zone to earn other’s trust.

Finding truth calls for wisdom, leadership and courage.

Altitude is a skill

If you can learn to be better at something, it’s a skill. And if it’s a skill, it’s yours if you want to have it.

Do you want to have a better altitude?

It is your decision and option to have a better altitude or not.

You can learn and own a skill.

Altitude is a skill.

You can decide to own a better altitude.

Trust is a decision

Trust is an important binding factor for any relationship.

We make a judgement to trust someone or not basing on several factors. A couple of the most factors are: the consistency of the person’s action and the motives & intentions of the person.

Therefore, trust is a decision we make.

To trust someone takes time. It’s not easy to make such a decision.

Once a trust is violated. It is difficult to rebuild it.

However, distrust is not a bad things for many occasions.

You don’t need to trust all your board members, you need to challenge them for the best of the company.

When you have conservation of trust towards to some clients, you get to do due-diligent checks on them to reduce risks.

Distrust is also a decision.

We make decisions daily from our best judgement. Trust or distrust are among them.

Start, whether you are ready or not…

Start to do something new is a scary thing, especially when you feel you are not ready yet.

You may feel that you are not ready, because you haven’t done all your research, or you haven’t practice enough, or you haven’t gotten all the advice, or… therefore, you postpone and wait for your readiness.

Waiting until you’re ready is an excuse.

You are hiding.

You choose to stay in your comfort zone to avoid daring into the unknown. And because the unknown could bring failure, mistakes, you are afraid.

However, when you start your initiative whether you are ready or not, you may find a new world, grow new muscles, make new friends.

Our society progresses by millions of millions of people venturing into unknown to bring innovation, create new roads.

Whether you are ready or not, take a leap forward. If you fall, you still fall forward.

Gratitude

Miracle has happened to many people’s lives when they stared to express and feel the gratitudes very often. They write gratitude diary usually.

I tried to write gratitude diary. But, it seems that I can’t keep the consistence. Then I realized that if I begin to appreciate myself, then I can become having more appreciations to other.

If you haven’t started this practice yet, one way to start your gratitude journey is use 3+1 approach.

3+1 means that 1) write down 3 things you feel the gratitude towards to yourself. Such as, I am grateful today for my yoga; I am grateful for completed 80% of my to-do-list; I am grateful for having a health. 2) write down 1 thing that you feel grateful for externals, such as, I am grateful that I live and work in a safe environment; or I am grateful today because I have heart to heart conversation with a few colleagues today.

Try the 3+1 rule and start your gratitudes today.

Do right things vs do things right

What is the difference to do right things and do things right?

Do right things needs you to exercise your abilities to judge, to make decision, to be brave and fearlessly execute, to be a leader.

Do right things also calls for your character, your integrity, your ethics.

When you do right things, you will prepare to accept what follows after. Good and bad, Beautiful and ugly, love and hate, etc.

Do things right calls for accurate execution. It does not require your decision, but your capability.

You need to do right things, and sometimes to do things right.